A few days ago a letter from Marina's girl came to the mail of the site, in which she complained that her boyfriend had thrown her, although they were a couple of three years, two of whom lived together." How to return your beloved ?" - asked Marina.
I decided not to answer her in person, but write an article on this complex and important topic for many women.
Returning a loved one is the dream of many abandoned women
Even supermodels, even Hollywood stars, even the most beautiful and successful ladies, what to say about us, ordinary women, at least once in life, but faced with the situation when a loved one unilaterally breaks off relations.
You are overwhelmed by an ocean of emotions: "How so? We were happy after all. .. And that's after I gave him the best years. .. Scoundrel. .. Scoundrel. .. I will never forgive. .. ".
As soon as the storm subsides and the anger goes away, a aching wound is formed on the heart and one thought "How to return a loved one" sounds unceasingly in my head.
Someone is ready to go to extremes to stick together broken relationships, someone makes timid attempts to restore love, someone does not make any attempts to return a loved one in the hope that he will come to his senses and return himself.
So how do you proceed?
I'll tell you right away that it's not easy, and often impossible, to restore relations if their cause was not a quarrel, but a meaningful decision of an adult person.
The main thing - do not cut from the shoulder, and act neatly.
How to ease your pain from losing a loved one?
Women who were thrown by a loved one naturally suffer, and under the influence of suffering they are willing to commit various nonsenses in order to alleviate their pain a little.
Everything goes in the way: cigarettes, alcohol, illegibility in choosing sexual partners, dipping depressed, quarreling with others, destroying his gifts and co-bought things, etc.
Of course, all this not only does not help you return your loved one, but it will worsen your emotional state when you can reasonably look at all the perfect actions.
There are other, more true and safe ways to reduce the pain of losing love:
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Cry as it should.
Tears are a natural reaction of the body in such a situation, so you do not need to restrain them.
The main thing is to cry out alone, without looking for a company for this wet business.
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Take a couple of time off and plunge into the pain with the head to fill it with.
Girls, from whom the beloved has left, deserve to be treated with melodramas, a glass of good wine, a delicious.
The main thing is that this therapy does not last more than two or three days.
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Describe everything that you feel.
Not for nothing they say that the paper will endure all.
She is also ready to take some of your pain.
Keep a diary or write a letter to your loved one( only you do not need to send it!).
You'll see, you feel better.
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Organize a bachelorette party.
If you have the best friends, then you can cry to them in a vest, and then - and get advice on how to return a loved one.
Once! Do not abuse someone else's time.
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Change the situation.
Embark on a weekend in some boarding house or spa resort, located in a beautiful place.
Healing air, lack of familiar and relaxation procedures are very effective in treating mental wounds.
How to return a loved one: understand the reasons for his departure
Once you can think soberly, you need to understand why a loved one left you.
Without such an analysis it will not be possible to return a loved one.
The most common reasons are:
- Another woman.
- He stopped loving you and ready for a new relationship.
- You stopped arranging it like a woman.
To be honest, it's easy enough to return a loved one, only if a break in relations happened due to a third reason.
Your second half not so much throws you, how many sends you a signal: change, I do not want to see a woman next to me.
How to survive the parting: 7 personal tips
If you love your dear, you can change yourself both externally and internally to match his ideal.
Not a hopeless situation and if you were left because of another woman.
It may well be that the one, the other, is much worse and your beloved will soon return itself, even no action to take will not have to.
Or you can prove to him that you are an ideal, and he has changed you do not understand what.
This works if you constantly intersect: you work or study together, you have common children, etc.
But think carefully: are you ready to forgive treason, are you ready to continue living with a man who easily changed you for another?
I could not.
If you were abandoned, because you stopped loving, to glue a broken cup is almost impossible.
In this case it is better to put up, heal wounds and go in search of a new relationship.
5 tips to help return your beloved
Lovely girl, no psychologist( and I - no exception) will not give you a ready-made recipe how to return a loved one.
All men are different, all relationships are different, therefore it is necessary to work on each pair individually, not for nothing people visit a family psychologist.
But still some effective tips how to return a loved one, I can give you:
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Bring your appearance in order: make a manicure, a new haircut, buy yourself a new dress, make make-up and styling every day.
You have to look like a queen, let him quit, but - queen.
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Talk with your beloved to find out what caused the gap and whether you have a chance to return everything.
Just do not need to cry, hysterical or begging him to return, imagine that you have a business conversation.
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Remember, what was dissatisfied with your boyfriend or husband, while you were together: your appearance, your attitude towards his friends, the tenderness of your character, etc.
Work on your shortcomings, show your loved one that you are ready to change.
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Step away from your love tragedy.
Letting go of your soul mate for a while does not mean forgetting about it.
Give time to yourself and him to figure out your thoughts and feelings.
When emotions subside, you can normally talk and try to settle the situation.
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Think positively, visualize your desires.
Every day, send signals to the universe: "I can return my beloved!", "We will definitely be together!".
If you do everything right, the Universe will hear you.
More tips on how to get your favorite man back, watch the video:
What should not you do if you try to get your lover back?
We figured out what to do in order to return a loved one, but now let's understand what not to do:
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Do not bother your loved one:
do not write him 100 sms or emails a day, do not watch him at the office and atDo not try to constantly adjust a random meeting.
He decides that you are a maniac and finally turn away from you.
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Do not press on pity.
Do not whip him at every opportunity, how bad you are without him, how you suffer.
It's easy to get rid of him, but you want to return love, right?
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Do not visit sorcerers, shamans, grandmothers in the hope of a love potion or a recipe for happiness.
Look back: the 21st century is confidently marching around the world, and you feed charlatans.
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Do not mud your loved one to the right and left.
About your experiences can only know the closest people( mom, best friend), and even then the information should be dosed.
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Do not try to revenge your beloved and his new passion.
I understand that from love to hate one step, but put out your anger.
If you start revenge, you will not make it worse for them, but for yourself.
Have you tried different methods, turned into the kindest and sweetest queen of beauty, repeat the mantra "He will come back" every day, and the young man does not pay the slightest attention to all this?
Just let it go!
Stop worrying, how to return your beloved , and focus on something else: career, children, hobbies, new relationships.
It is likely that the universe has prepared for you mutual love and boundless happiness with another man, and you, while continuing to try to regain the old relationship, you can simply not notice its signals.