Beautiful, warm, trusting relationship is the dream of most women. And everyone has their own idea of how to properly build them. But there are a number of common and sometimes fatal mistakes made by ladies in the process of developing relations with the opposite sex.
- Error one: "I'll redo it"
- Error two: "Guess it yourself"
- Error three: "Will not go anywhere"
- Error four: "I'm you"
- Error Five: "And the horse at a gallop, andin the burning hut »
- Error six:" Do not look to the left, do not look to the right "
- Error the seventh" And everything is wrong, and everything is not right "
Error the first:" I'll redo it "
During dating, the origin of relations and candy-bouquet period, any man tries to make a good impression, flaunting all his positivee quality. But the dynamic development of relations between a man and a woman "over the course of time" "manifests" not only the virtues, but also the shortcomings of a partner, which a woman previously could not have guessed. And at this point in the minds of most of them there is the thought: "Next to me, he will necessarily change( as an option - after the wedding).However, no woman can answer the question: why with her and why should an adult self-sufficient person change? And when no changes are made with all diligence, the girl is disappointed, conflicts arise.
To avoid such situations, if a partner finds habits or qualities that seem unacceptable( smoking, alcohol abuse), do not like( fishing, football) or are annoying at all, a woman should honestly answer herself: will she be able to accept them andto reconcile with them in the future? And only an unconditional positive response indicates that relations can develop further without reproaches and disappointments.
Psychology proves only one thing: the established personality in the conditions of its comfort zone does not change! And if there are changes in a person, then under the influence of very significant factors and shocks.to the table of contents ^
Error two: "Guess it yourself"
The nature is arranged so that women are inherently empathetic, that is able to feel the mood, condition and even the needs of another person. What do they expect from a partner. But in men, such qualities are not fully developed. A girl can dream of a romantic dinner as much as she likes and be delighted at the sight of lovely puppies or ornaments, but until she directly "hints" about what she wants, the man will not even think of such a thing.
There are exceptions to the stronger sex, but they confirm the rule even more. It deals not only with material things, but with relationships. What to do? You can sit and sulk silently, and you can talk to your partner frankly and calmly( without reproaches and claims) explain what he upset you or offended, what do you want from him, waiting for.
Error three: "Will not go anywhere"
Quite often women, having borrowedstamp in the passport or just being in a relationship with a man for a long time, relax, stop caring for themselves and monitor their appearance."And he loves me and so" - the most common excuse for girls who forgot about the existence of a hairdresser and lipstick. Of course, he loves, but it does not stop him admiring women with beautiful manicure, make-up and hairdo that are dressed in elegant skirts and shoes on the hairpin( and not in an outstretched tracksuit).In public, you also look decent, but at home? Arab women come to mind, who put on the best outfits, decorations, make a smart make-up at home, while wearing a veil on the street. At first glance, it seems ridiculous, but if you think about it, it's not so difficult to do light make-up in the morning, wash your hair and put on your homely, but beautiful and neat clothes?
Error Four: "I am you"
A woman is able to dissolve in a partner. Drop all your needs, interests, passions and spend with him twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And for her, a blow from the clear sky can be a declaration of a loved one that he goes fishing with his friends( on football, in a bar, in a gym) on weekends. The reaction is possible different: from bitter resentment to the sea of tears to an eerie scandal. In the first case, a man frankly does not understand why a woman is all in tears, in the second - even angry, but still leave( or stay at home and "throw lightning").But there is a third option - quietly let go. Yes, it is insulting. And it's unpleasant. But it's much better if the loved one returns in a good mood, than will be next to you physically( but not by thoughts) and evil. And do not need to call every half hour and send it sms-kami.
The man needs his personal time and space. And this does not mean that you are bored with him, or he no longer loves you. Find yourself an occupation for these several hours: go with your girlfriend or mom to the movies, shop, read, do needlework.
A woman should always have a deal for the soul and self-development. Otherwise she somehow will not be interesting to her man.to the table of contents ^
Error Five: "And the horse at a gallop, and in a burning hut"
Women can do much: and carry heavy bags, and move furniture, and nails to hammer, even a wheel in the car to change. But if next to her a real man - to demonstrate all these skills is strictly not worth it. As well as strive to surpass him in office, salary, status and position in society. Despite the fact that today everyone is talking about gender equality, no normal man will feel comfortable with a woman who is "head and shoulders" above everything else. It is even more gross mistake to demonstrate your superiority in people. Even if your loved one's affairs are not as good as yours, try to show him in every way how you need him, how expensive and how important his help is. Otherwise, a man can close in himself and move away, feeling that "does not hold out," and the woman will have to play the role of dray horse to the end of days.to the table of contents ^
Error six: "Do not look to the left, do not look to the right"
Often, these manifestations lead a woman into a rage, cause jealousy and provoke loud scandals with an ultimatum: "or I or. ..".This behavior is a sign of low self-esteem. No self-respecting lady will fall to excessive jealousy, prohibitions and restrictions on her man. For her, the main thing is that he is next to her. And this already means that, a priori, it is better than the one on which he held his attention an extra second.
Excessive control with checking pockets, phone and mail correspondence will not lead to anything good, only forcing your man to think about the actual implementation of what he is constantly suspected of.to the table of contents ^
The seventh error "And everything is wrong, and everything is not right"
When the period of walks under the moon and long kisses at the entrance passes, they are replaced by everyday life. It is in everyday life that the strength of the relationship is determined. Daily worries and problems can lead to misunderstanding, separation from each other and the occurrence of claims. More often than not, it is the woman who can incite the situation to the limit with endless reproaches and discontent.
In this situation it is better not to overstep the stick, otherwise instead of the home environment a man will prefer any other place. You do not need to constantly express your displeasure and build yourself a "victim of a domestic routine."Do you find it difficult and need help? Ask for it! Sitting at home? Tell your companion and find the way out together. Not enough money? Sound a problem and evaluate new sources of income. It is very important not to postpone the "debriefing" in a long box and be offended to be offended. Talk, discuss, and try to find a solution to any problem together without reproaches, accusations and insults.