A sense of guilt is one of the basic and destructive feelings of a person.
However, one should never confuse the notion of "being guilty" and "feeling guilty".
After all, if the first concept is real, then the second often does not take place only in our head.
In such cases, you always need to think, how to get rid of the guilt of ?
In most cases, the sense of guilt is programmed by parents as a child.
Agree, it is always convenient when the child is near the skirt, obeys his mother and does not try to contradict.
Here compassionate parents and put in the child's soul sprouts feelings of guilt, and then with great care they grow.
"Ungrateful son! You disgrace the family. We'll be lost without you. "- familiar situations?
And when the feeling of guilt of finally strengthens in the child's soul, then:
- does not need to blush for him on the bus;
- he will not beat the neighbors window;
- he will not get into fights;
- and will not contact the bad company.
As a result, the child is guilty for any offense, even for soaked sneakers in rainy weather.
And after all the manipulations, the fear of guilt and punishment starts to take over the little man and control all his actions.
By the age of 20 the fear of guilt is so firmly entrenched in the soul of a person that he ceases to notice him and subconsciously avoids all the sharp angles in relation to his environment.
In the modern world, the sense of guilt is manipulated by everyone who is not lazy, from the teacher in the school to the priest in the church.
Everyone wants something from us: they did not say hello to the seller - they were to blame, they did not smile at the guard at the site - they were to blame, etc.
The ring of guilt contracts, and a bunch of thoughts connected with guilt begins to swarm in my head.
So what do you do to stop this corrosive sense of guilt and throw it out of your soul?
There is a way out!
And a simple instruction will help you get rid of harmful thoughts.
Get rid of feelings of guilt and program a new self!
Before we begin to eradicate feelings of guilt, let's determine if there is a sense of guilt in us.
So:
- , you prefer not to argue, because it is difficult for you to defend your opinion or you are worried about the reaction of others;
- , you constantly waste your conversations and analyze what and to whom you spoke;
- you try to meet all expectations and try to be perfect;
- you hide your thoughts and feelings from other people, afraid to offend them with your statements;
- you often experience depression;
- you manipulate for mercenary purposes;
- you can not leave your husband / wife an alcoholic, because you think - without you, the second half will be lost.
If you agree with at least two statements, then it's time for you to eradicate the guilt of .
Let's start treatment!
Lesson 1. Stop blaming yourself for the reactions of others
Never blame yourself for the thoughts of another person.
You are not responsible for the fact that someone is angry with you, falls in love with you or does not tolerate your person.
You have absolutely nothing to do with if another person does not know how to behave in society and communicate normally with others.
If a person does not tolerate criticism - this one is also not your fault.
You are not to blame for not sharing the feelings of another person, and do not blame yourself for it.
Other people have absolutely no concern for what you feel.
Then why do you focus on the feelings of others?
If you really want to get rid of the guilt of - stop thinking about the feelings of others.
Right from today, forget about people you do not need!
Lesson 2. Stop blaming yourself for errors
Remember: all people learn from their own and others' mistakes.
In the world there simply does not exist a person who would have got everything from the first time.
For example, you learn to ride a bicycle.
At some point, you ran under the wheels of a child, you hit it and crushed it with a bicycle.
Do not blame yourself for the mistake.
The child will cry and in five minutes forget about you, so you should forget about the mistake as quickly.
Lesson 3. Discard the guilt for the actions of others
We have already figured out that you are not responsible for the feelings of others.
Moreover, you should not blame yourself for their actions.
Each person has his own head on his shoulders, for which you are not responsible.
How can I stop being shy?
If your friend wants to rob a bank - let him rob, you have absolutely nothing to do with it.
And if Lenka on your advice decided to get pregnant from Petka, then you should not feel guilty .
Lenka has her own head, to live( or not to live) with Petya.
And the more so, you are not responsible for the drunk Petya, wound off three terms in a strict regime colony.
Think, first of all, about yourself, and not about some kind of Lenki or Petya!
Lesson 4. "Burning" the guilt of
If you can not get rid of the guilt , use an effective psychological method.
Take a sheet of paper and write down on it all the situations when you feel or feel guilty.
Now crumple the sheet, set it on fire, and throw the ash out of the window.
After the manipulations done, you should be much easier.
That's all! No guilt! You burn it!
Only, please, do not cultivate new negative feelings.
Lesson 5. Do not apologize
It often happens that we are manipulated, forced to excuse ourselves and apologize.
My advice to you: never apologize for actions in which you are not to blame.
Whenever you apologize to someone, you think so "if I'm sorry, then I admit that it's my fault."
But this is not a fact.
Many people try to stupidly throw responsibility and blame for what happens to other people.
Do not give in to these manipulations!
For example, if your organization is ruined, then you are not to blame, even if you work as a chief accountant or financier.
After all, the reason for the liquidation of an organization is not so much in finance as in the approach to advertising and working with clients.
Lesson 6. Respond with manipulations to manipulations of
In this lesson you will learn how to not allow people to manipulate themselves and how to give a worthy rebuff.
I will give you an example on the basis of a distant relative of my best friend.
Let's call him Mr. N.
So, Mr. N was born in the family of a very domineering woman and henpecked man.
All his life, Mr. N was inspired that women are evil, that the mother is the head of the family. So, as the head will say, it will.
All his life, Mr. N crooked under his imperious mother and tried to please her.
When Mr. N had a wife, the domineering mother did her best to make his wife disappear.
And having disappeared in an unknown direction, the wife took her beloved daughter.
What in the end?
As a result, Mr. N is retired along with his domineering mother.
He does not have a career, he does not have a family, and where his child - he does not know.
And what a sad situation will be when Mister Mister N will die. ..
Therefore: do not repeat such situations.
And if something like this happened and you can not give the manipulator a rebuff - run away from him without looking back.
Without you, he does not glue flippers, but you can with him.
Review also a small video with one more exercise tip,
how to get rid of guilt.
Go!
Summing up, I want to say: do not try to be perfect.
Do not curry favor with your boss, do not try to please your colleague. Always have your opinion and stand up for your point of view.