How to survive the parting with a loved one

psychologist As a rule, no one anywhere do not spontaneously go away. On adrenaline, after a vigorous clarification of the relationship on any occasion, you can hotly slam the door, walk, calm down, return, explain. But if at the same time systematically collect things, to show Spartan cool and pour insulting reproaches hand throwing partner - it means somewhere already prepared the alternate.

Psychologists say: if you love him, then let him go, let him be happy with another girl. But such recommendations and comfort in the spirit of "you too will be happy with another husband" - are not able to instantly muffle the pain from the wound. But how to survive parting with a beloved man - advice of a psychologist does not help much?

How to survive the separation from the beloved

There are various simple rules and tips on how to come out victorious from this difficult situation:

1) plunge into a new relationship - romantic period with a new lover or boyfriend will again believe in their own attractiveness and ability like men.

2) you can talk to your girlfriend, share your sore, cry together, and then get out to a party to unwind and distract.

3) to defeat the rolled up depression with the help of melodramas and films, with a similar situation and necessarily happy happy end - but this method is not suitable for everyone: this video can further upset sensitive and empathic women and make you relive your painful condition.

4) a good consolation for women can be a book containing tips on personal growth and development, self-improvement, for raising self-esteem, fit even manuals and workbooks for their own businesses or needlework courses.

5) it is necessary to occupy yourself with some kind of work: creative or monotonous, but such that there is no time to worry.

6) to prohibit the currently negative or destructive thoughts( like "I have no love" and "I'm no use to anybody") and tune in to the fight with the circumstances - in self-destruction and self-flagellation( "it's my fault that this happened")there is nothing good except stress, depression and other diseases. And if the "loved one" left his wife during pregnancy - then there is worry about his uselessness general sin: for sure a mother needed( and very strong!) Unborn child.

7) do not focus on thinking about "how he spends time with his mistress", inventing all sorts of pictures of treason, but you must learn to enjoy your sudden loneliness and freedom, and the ability to do it exactly as you want.

How long it takes to forget

Well help to overcome the bitterness of resentment and feel more happy and confident in the different trainings. It is best to find a course, calculated from a couple of weeks to a month - this is just the minimum period to "forget".It is very effective to listen to master classes from Natalia Tolstoy and Torsunova.

You can develop a list of personal rules or an instruction( so to speak abbreviated version), consisting of simple steps to "eliminate a grim mood", for example:

- day one: to give up your misery,
- day two: feel young and happy,
- day three: do only what gives joyful and positive emotions,
- day four: practice in the psychology of interpersonal relations,
- day five: correctly read the tips of your subconscious and learn to trust yourth intuition,
- the sixth day: work on a new love and new feelings,
- the seventh day: to devote his own, putting in one hundred percent marafeta and walk or a short trip.

How to survive the parting with a guy after a long relationship

After the break with the partner, especially if the relationship was long and filled with good emotions, a woman can undergo four psychological stages:

1) denial of the event, the formation of an illusory world where everything is well and loved alongside,

2) anger, anger, open or inwardindignation, accusations against the former and desire to take revenge,

3) attempts to return a loved one - blackmail, persuasion and other tricks,

4) a killer mix of depression, apathy, deaf grief and "self-closure."

The most difficult thing is simply to accept the separation as a best option for the development of events, to inspire yourself that this is not the finale of all life, but only a new step of the ladder( which leads to happiness), which you have to climb.

Recommendations here can be similar to the above, the only addition - it is worth becoming a successful woman or, at least, put on a mask. Gather with forces and plunge into the work, actively engage in building a career, try yourself in a new field. And it is best to move to a new team, so that new colleagues do not know anything about what is happening and do not pester pity talk and sympathy.

Excess adrenaline can be splashed out in the gym or gym, enroll in martial arts or capoeira courses. If such a soul does not lie - dance is also suitable, preferably dynamic. Form a habit of smiling regardless of anything - just go to the mirror and stand for a few minutes with a smile, and then the training time to bring to 10-15 minutes. Then the mental problems will seem less significant.

If you fell in love with a married

On the one hand, a man with a ring on his finger is already "accustomed" to family life, but not the fact that it is exactly what a woman in love is. There are no guarantees that he will immediately arrange for her a "wedding of dreams" and in marriage will blow off specks of dust, maybe, on the contrary, establish patriarchy and will demand service for a class of high-ranking housekeepers and sexuality of the cosmic level. As long as you do not live with a man, you will not know him completely.

Strategies for women entering into relationships with married men:

- to lead( to become for him the best listener and reliable all understanding friend, to create for him the house of "his dreams", do not openly demand anything, quietly study and manipulate his weak sides);in the end, you can get the coveted man - but the question arises: how long and with what weight to add to the bargain?

- leave everything as is and enjoy the relationship as much as possible, extracting from them all that is pleasing to oneself, having fun and not falling in love( even if it seems that you are so created for each other that you are covered by a twin flame);here everything is easy and clear - to experiment, have a good time and look for a more suitable candidate for a family nest.

- break the relationship - because if he cheats on his wife, it means that he will later change you( the person does not change - and all the habits acquired and habits that have been acquired for years do not disappear);and in general, men now just do not marry, so there were such circumstances that he agreed to become "ringed"( he still will not tell the truth, but if you continue the love line, nerves can be patted);and so - it will be possible to save both nerves and time - and open the way for new relationships and meetings.

In any case, the woman should decide, really appreciating all the pros and cons of such relationships, and not playing yourself fantastic "but suddenly."

5 magic rules from the psychologist

1) If long and methodically to work on self-recovery and become an ardent "collector of positive emotions", then as a reward you can get a much-desired feeling of your own happiness and absolute satisfaction and your appearance, and your character and current situationcases. And as you know, positive emotions come to positive people, and as a result their concentration in life increases so much that the artificially created sense of joy turns into a feeling of real and sincere happiness.

2) Give yourself the opportunity to be yourself, do what you like and what you want. Spends his time on a loved one, and not on the daily cooking of a "company of soldiers."

3) The most to become for someone( who needs to extinguish after breaking up with a loved one) is a reliable and strong friend, to develop a rich "rehabilitation program".

4) Make a plan for your life, a wish card - and clearly follow the plan, not being exchanged for grievances, disappointments and experiences.

5) If you believe the concept of the practice of NLP Victoria Isaeva, everyone can get everything they want. "You will grind your experiences - you will receive new disorders, you will rejoice and see everything positive in everything - you will get even more cool emotions. You need to cling to stress and griefs that have happened - you will acquire a nervous breakdown, you will start typing up the history of your life and you will receive the fulfillment of your most cherished desires.