How to get rid of guilt and forgive yourself tips

With a sense of guilt and shame for any misconduct in life withalkivaetsya almost everyone. This is one of the most destructive emotions, which does not allow us to live normally, causes painful experiences and mental suffering.

The obsessive sense of guilt, which we failed to extinguish in time, gradually eats from the inside, adversely affecting personal life and relationships with people. It does not allow to move further, turning into a complex from which self-esteem suffers. How to get rid of the obsessive sense of guilt and forgive yourself for the mistake in the past?

How to get rid of feelings of guilt psychology

Feelings of guilt are not just remorse for the perfect misdemeanor typical of a normal person. This is aggression, an inner reproach of oneself for the perfect mistake, self-flagellation of oneself for action or inaction in a situation that can not be corrected.

A person feels obligated to everyone, can not get rid of the "eternally guilty" complex. As a rule, the cause of obsessive shame has been pawned since childhood, and is imposed by parents and teachers.

Phrases and reproaches of the type: "You broke your trousers and now I have to work even harder to buy you", form a sense of guilt in front of parents in the child's mind, the kid considers himself the source of all the troubles and problems of adults.

In adult life, a person tries to be good for everyone, afraid to offend or disappoint others, and not only loved ones. If something happens to him in which he had to act, in his opinion, wrong or bad, he searches for the cause only in himself, he is constantly tormented by conscience for what he has done, he can not forgive himself.

The psychology of the problem lies in the behavior of the individual. A person with a guilt complex behaves as follows:

• does not enter into disputes, discussions, avoids conflicts, can not defend its position, being afraid of the reaction of others;
• constantly analyzes whether he told someone if he did the right thing;
• tries to adapt to the expectations of another person, wants to be perfect and good;
• is afraid of offending others with words, statements;
• such a person is easy to manipulate, it is often used for selfish purposes;
• it is difficult for him to refuse and say "no."

How to get rid of feelings of guilt and shame

To get rid of the feeling of "eternal guilt" and forgive yourself for the mistakes, use the advice of the psychologist :

1. A psychological device that helps to see and evaluate the problem from the outside. Describe all that causes you inner anxiety and shame on a piece of paper. Outline your act, for which you are tormented by conscience, in all the smallest details. At the end of the confession, write down the reasons why you had to do so. Find an excuse for your act and forgive yourself for it, then burn the sheet of paper. You should have a feeling that with the paper all negative emotions that destroy life are burned.

2. Tell us about your painful experiences to someone who can understand you. It can be a psychologist, a specialist in the service of trust or a confession in the church.

3. Try to forget the act that causes heartache. Use one of the methods of psychology: if you have thoughts and memories of the deed - say aloud the key phrase that you think up yourself, for example, "We continue to live on", "Everything will be fine."

Causes of guilt in a person

Feeling guilty, already becoming adults, we can face close and dear people, not knowing how to fix the current situation. How to get rid of obsessive sensation, stop looking for reasons in yourself?

Feeling of guilt before the child causes and how to get rid of

Many parents feel guilty before their own children when the child did not achieve his goals in adult life, did not become what they wanted him to be.

Believing that if they made more efforts, they would not make mistakes, the child's life would have developed differently. This conviction makes parents unhappy.

How to get rid of a destructive feeling:

• stop blaming yourself, you need to forgive yourself;
• pay time and attention to the child, not forgetting about themselves, about their interests;
• ask for forgiveness, explain the reasons for the situation.

How to get rid of an obsessive sense of guilt before the mother

Adult children sometimes feel guilty about their mother for having upset her as a child, being rude or not calling, not visiting during illness.

The loss of conscience for such behavior is often a hindrance to happiness and a normal life.

• Feelings of guilt before the mother methods of disposal:
• openly talk with your mother, ask for forgiveness for all the suffering inflicted on her, so you can forgive yourself;
• , if possible, pay more attention to parents.

How to deal with a sense of guilt before a dead person

A particularly painful experience causes a feeling of guilt over a deceased mother when she does not have the opportunity to ask for forgiveness. To get rid of the complex before the dead person, one should realize that it is impossible to return it and accept this fact. Mentally ask forgiveness from a loved one, release the pain and remorse.

Feeling of guilt after alcohol - how to get rid of it

Another reason why people tend to experience shame is obsessive negative feelings after excessive alcohol intake, more precisely, their behavior. A man is tormented by conscience for a long time, he can not forgive himself for his deed.

How to get rid of negative emotions after alcohol :

• ask to forgive you for your act;
• make fun of yourself;
• criticize in the presence of others surrounding yourself for misconduct, admit your wrong and forgive yourself, promising that this will not happen again.

How to get rid of guilt and forgive yourself tips

To forgive yourself and stop being guilty, use tips and recommendations from :

1. Learn to be responsible for decisions and choices. Do not react to manipulation, this is just your decision and no one can influence it.

2. Recognize and eliminate all causes that can cause remorse.

3. Stop pleasing everyone. It is impossible to become good for everyone.

4. Learn to say "no", respect your choice and value your time. Explain to the person that you too have important things to do.

5. In any situation, remain yourself, do not try to meet someone's expectations.