So, with, I'll start with the background. ..
Six months ago my girlfriend Nastya got married.
We recently got together for girlish gatherings and, naturally, I asked if she was satisfied with her family life?
Nastya replied that she seemed to be happy, her husband cares about her, but there is only one problem: she thinks that he earns little.
To my question: "Did not you know how much he gets in a month?" The girlfriend answered simply genius: "I knew, but before what he earned was spent on joint trips, gifts to me, and now the sum is the same, butit is necessary to allocate from it for utilities, food, household chemicals and so on. "...
I was even more surprised and asked: where does she get her salary?
The answer was even more brilliant: "Well, how about: cosmetics, clothes, hikes with girlfriends in a cafe and other little joys. Why should I spend my money on buying potatoes? "
I advised her to study the concept of" how to manage the family budget "in more detail and realize that she married not for an oligarch, but for a manager, and therefore, it is unlikelywill pull all the expenditure.
Already on my way home, I thought about writing an article on this topic, because who knows, maybe there are such "Nasties" among my readers.🙂
It is accepted to allocate three types of family budget: general, separate and mixed.
Pros and cons of each with specific life examples try to make out.
1. Because we are the team - the general family budget
This means that the husband and wife, after receiving the salary, should bring it home to the penny, then put it in one cash register, and then distribute where and what to spend.
This is good because:
- indicates a trusted relationship in a pair;
- allows you not to feel defective family member who earns less or does not earn at all;
- makes it possible to make major purchases, because two salaries give a good amount.
This kind of family budgeting does not work for couples who:
- husband or wife is not burdened with conscience flies: for example, you try to get along small, because you save on the TV, and your spouse spends all the savings on spinning;
- one of the couple suffers if he does not have personal money;
- the husband or wife is marked by pathological greed, is not interested in the needs of his second half, leads an ascetic lifestyle and requires the same from the spouse, in general - if you are completely different with your second half - do not choose this type of running the family budget.
An example from the life of .
The husband of my former boss was a real Gobsek.
While she earned( and quite decently) his greed little interested her.
But now she gave birth to a child and became financially dependent on him.
Useful tips on how to save money
He so plagued her with phrases like: "Why do you need such expensive lipstick?", "Another thing - new pantyhose - these take and zasha", "You can walk with a child in old jeans"that a year later they divorced.
So, as you can see, the joint family budget does not suit all couples.
2. Everyone for himself - a separate family budget
This type of financial relations is popular abroad, but we also have our admirers.
Typically, this type of budget management is chosen by successful people.
Each pair allocates a certain amount of monthly income for housekeeping and family purchases, and spends the rest on their own.
This is good because:
- allows you to open a personal account to save a decent amount;
- causes for the rub will become less. A wife can not shout to her husband: "Where, contagion, another 100 hryvnia / rubles of cases?";
- in case of divorce, there will be no family lawsuits on the topic: "I gave him the best years, and he, reptile, left me naked and barefooted."
This kind of family budget management is not suitable for couples who have:
- have children.
Agree, it is strange to throw off equally on boots for a daughter; - people who represent family life as a joint activity and do not understand how one can have something of their own outside the family;
- egoists.
Yes, you are conducting a separate family budget, but you are still a family, and you can not turn a spouse's relationship into a business partnership!
An example from life.
The best friend of my daughter-in-law is a successful woman who has her own fashion store. She married quite late for a well-off man.
They immediately decided to have different cash registers and not claim the income of each other.
After two years of unclouded life, her mother fell ill, she needed an expensive operation abroad, and he just did not have the right amount in free circulation and the man turns to his beloved wife for help.
Ta agrees to lend the necessary amount, but to return it not later than a month, because she wants a new car.
How to become an excellent housewife!
The girlfriend of the daughter-in-law still can not understand why her husband left her, because she did not even intend to take interest from it, which she would lose by closing the bank account. ..
In order not to repeat the mistakes of this lady, remember that the rational approach iswell, but you can not forget about humanity!
3. And not together, and not separately - the mixed type of the family budget
Both the husband and the wife allocate, for example 70% of their salary for general needs, and the rest - they spend at their own discretion. Moreover, this percentage system is flexible enough.
If a couple stores on an expensive thing or there are force majeures, then the rules change.
You can borrow money from a co-fund if you need it.
This is good because:
- is honest with respect to those who earn less;
- allows you to have personal funds, without degrading to requests to your husband or wife;
- testifies to the settled adult relations of the couple.
This type of running a family budget does not work for couples who:
- one does not work;
- no one wants to take responsibility for the general cashier;
- husband or wife hide their income.
A story from life.
Two of my colleagues were married a year ago.
The question of how how to properly manage the family budget , they did not even stand.
Both knew that they would choose a shared-separate type.
Working together, it's hard to hide the proceeds from your second half.
She understands that he, having left half his salary for personal needs this month, wants to give her a good gift for the upcoming birthday.
And he knows that his wife will buy new shoes only after paying for utilities and purchasing food for a month. It seems that everyone is happy.
And now let's talk about "Language of Money". ..
There is an opinion that in family relations it is not so important to find a common language of love with your partner as a common "Language of Money".
As almost all the quarrels in the family arise precisely because of money - and do not even argue!
Such a concept as the "Language of Money" was proposed by well-known finance consultants Scott and Bethany Palmer.
5 people money language types
So, according to Palmer, depending on the type of personality and character, the language of money your other half can be characterized by one of the five verbs:
- save
- insure
- spend
- risk
- to neglect all
Pros &cons civil marriage
«Stash»
If you notice that your spouse all the time trying to save money and get real moral satisfaction when they succeed, then this man need to talk about money to themcontinuously in the language of hoarding.
The fact that such people will never get the pleasure of buying some trinkets and experience delight, received as a gift some nice little things for crazy money.
They are frightened by the thought that they can overpay for something.
Such people will never understand why to buy expensive branded sneakers, for example, if you can buy no worse than in a nearby store, but much cheaper.
For this type of people it is important to know that money will be spent on something really necessary, or even better, that they are piling, because it turned out to buy something that is needed cheaper.
If these rules are met, then people who store money will be supportive of any of your purchases.
"Insure"
People of this type all the time put money in a stash, "just in case", "for a rainy day."
They are always worried about the fact that tomorrow they may lose their jobs or something else happens, and the source of income will not be drastically reduced.
If you find out in this type of your chosen one, remember that in order for him to be calm and easily agree to spend money, he needs to be sure that tomorrow and the day after tomorrow there will be a stable income.
Therefore, before talking about spending, talk with your partner about the source of income, and try to teach him to live more in the present than in the future.
"Spending"
People of this type are keen on making purchases, buying something for money.
They do not care - they buy something for themselves, a relative or a friend.
Sometimes it does not even matter what such people want to buy this or that thing.
They tend to buy almost everything, fearing to forget something important.
And then they reproach themselves and feel guilty for having spent a lot of money.
In order to control the embezzlement of such a partner, it is important to plan all expenses with him in advance so that he understands that he will not miss anything important and does not allow any unnecessary expenditure.
For example, before a trip on vacation it is better to think in advance which souvenirs should be bought so that the whole souvenir shop is not bought by your partner.
2 methods, where to start making the family budget
"Risk"
People of this type are adventurers in life and to money they relate accordingly.
For them, money by and large does not matter, it's just a tool to help them express their individuality, to implement crazy ideas.
Such people, for example, can, without hesitation, invest a large amount of money in a dubious business, if it seemed interesting to them.
They can also unexpectedly spend all their monthly earnings on a trip.
If this kind of self-expression of your partner strikes a blow to your budget, help find a less expensive way of releasing adrenaline, because the vital risk for them is not spent money, but a sense of something unusual in their life, new discoveries.
I think that after watching this video,
you will also take useful information for yourself,
on how to start and how to properly manage the family budget:
"Let it slide"
These are people who live in the present moment.
They do not think about money and sometimes do not even know how much money lies with their wallet.
They do not plan expenses, they just buy what they need, easily parting with the money.
Therefore, people of this type often make impulsive purchases, deciding that right now they need something.
They can completely forget to buy a gift or postpone money for the upcoming event.
That's why they need all the time to remind about everything and remind about the forthcoming expenses, about where money may be needed.
In general, giving advice, how to manage the family budget - is difficult enough, because each pair itself models its financial relations, but I still tried and hopefully helped you to determine what type of budget you are closer to and how you need to communicate with your partneron the "Language of Money".