Popular interview questions and answers to them

Why do you want to work with us?

Oh, right so I want to work for you.

Here from the cradle dreamed of becoming a 121 manager in your firm. Everything is much simpler: I sent out a dozen resumes.

One half of the leaders ignored them( bastards such!), The second - invited to talk.

Now I'm wandering around for interviews, spending time on your stupid questions, looking for the best option for myself, that is - a minimum of work, a maximum of salary and nice employees.
Why do you think that out of all applicants for this position we should stop your choice on you?

Because I'm smart and beautiful, and my cologne is good, and I know how to lie.

If I were a stupid truth-seeker, I would answer honestly: "You are a fool, and your question is stupid," and so I smile and list my dignity: quickly trained, responsible, blah blah blah, what boredom.

I'm sure that the nine idiots that sat in front of me on this uncomfortable chair were carrying the same nonsense, and you'll be choosing one of the 10 identical chelovs trained in a local university, dropping a coin.
instagram viewer
What salary would suit you?

One Million Dollars. No, two! No, wrap three, please.

No, it's not like that: I want a junior assistant courier to pay me a salary, like the president of the company.

This is generally, in my opinion, the stupid question of those that you asked today.

Let's call your shameful three-figure sum, and I'll say whether I agree to work for it or not.
Why did you decide to change your previous place of business?

Tell me, Comrade Manager, you are generally aware that nobody has ever answered this question honestly.

Everyone has something about the opening of new horizons or the desire to join your team. Nobody says directly: "My former boss-goat, the former employees-assholes, paid me as a janitor in Uganda, but they demanded me as a minister."

So: start lying or go to the next stupid question?
What will be your role in our company in 10 years?

Oh, I'm begging you!

After 10 years, I see myself in the Maldives in the embrace of "Miss World".

Well, at least, I dream like that regularly.

And you, uncle, an optimist, do you think that in ten years your sharashkin office will exist at all?

And if it does, do I look like a fool who will still plow at you for a minimum wage?
What did you achieve at the previous place of business?

No, well, you're a dunce, uncle! Here for whom I long and tediously composed this piece of paper, what do you keep in your hands?

It's called "Resume" and there all my super-duper achievements are painted( well, and what, what half is fiction?).

And anyway, if you achieve achievement all day long, then when does the work work?
How would you like to see your boss?

The busty blonde is 25 years old who will fall in love with me and want to keep me from ever going through such humiliations as this is your interview.

But seriously, I do not care what my boss will look like.

The main thing is that it does not get too often.
What virtues do you have?

Resume! !!Look finally at this fucking resume!

There, all my dignities( both real and fictitious) are listed through a comma. And I can cherish cherry bones for 10 meters, for 3 minutes to hold my breath under water and I have a tattoo in the form of a skull on the left buttock.

However, I hardly imagine how these advantages can be useful in my work as a seller. Is it that you want me to spill cherry bones of an annoying buyer?
What kind of flaws do you have?

I do not have them, no!

I'm just an angel in the flesh, and if you finally take me to work, then we'll work in love and harmony for at least a year, until I decide to look for a job with a salary that will suffice even for tea with a donut,and again I will not fall into the grasping paws of the next manager of personnel( a boring asshole!), who himself does not know what he needs.

As you already know for certain "Diary of success" - not only useful, but also rather interesting site.

My goal is not to torture you to death with boring advice.

I have already written many times about which questions are asked during the interview, how to correctly answer them, how to make a good first impression, how to get a job, without experience, etc.

Today I have a great mood, which is what I wish for you!

I do not want to write another clever article today, I want to be a hooligan!

Questions and answers at the interview: why are we afraid of them?

Who among us did not tremble before the interview, which depended on whether we get a job so desired or not?

Yes, all without exception!

Especially creepy shivers, the size of an elephant, begin to run when the interview is the first in your life, when your work book is pristine clean, and from the experience only selling ice cream on a summer vacation.

And then all of himself is such a strict manager for human resources, not much older than you, who herself sweated in this chair a year ago, was filled with tricky questions and still trying to take you to a heart attack.

And, rehearse or do not rehearse the questions and answers at the interview before the upcoming interview - no difference.

I remember, my friend Marinka, before her first interview, worked out the answers to the most tricky questions for 3 days, and she got so nervous at the interview that she even confused her date of birth.

And all the problems from what?

Yes from the fact that for many decades now the leaders of companies and job seekers have played the same game: the first ask their stupid questions, and the latter come up with impressive answers to them, suppressing the desire to directly call the questions asked stupid and honestly admit: "II'm lying to you to like. "

And today I wanted to imagine how the answers of the candidates for the questions in the interview would sound if they answered honestly.

What questions are asked during the interview: we connect the humor

So. .. I present to your attention - 9 stupid questions and humorous( but honest!) Answers to them!😉

Let's imagine that a young man is looking for work.

For a long time looking for, therefore, the same type of questions managers in the staff he was bored with.

And now I suggest watching a video about how

does not need to behave in an interview!

Look and smile 🙂

Of course, all the answers given above are just a joke and you should not answer that if you are not trying to be a resident at the "Comedy Club"!🙂

But now you know exactly, what questions are asked during the interview and how exactly it is not worth responding to them.