Today we will talk about how is how to restore the trust of .
This topic is very important for me, because once I with my girlfriend passed the stage of restoring confidence after deception on her part.
We managed to sew our friendship, and - virtuously, even the seams were not visible, so I hope that my experience will come in handy to you, my dear readers.
Why worry about getting trust back in a relationship?
Here's how, in your opinion, what distinguishes a loved one from an ordinary acquaintance?
For me, these are the feelings that you feel for the near( love, affection), and the trust that binds your relationship.
The process of converting just a friend into a friend or a soul mate is very long.
First you look at each other, then sympathy arises, sympathy develops into a stronger feeling, and only when you begin to unconditionally trust another person, he takes an honorable place in your nearest circle.
If there is no confidence, then what kind of proximity can we talk about?
In my opinion, people who do not trust their friend / husband / wife, but continue to maintain the appearance of a good relationship, simply deceive themselves.
How to understand men?
If you initially did not have trust in the relationship or whether it was lost, and the culprit did not even undertake anything to return it, - delete this person from your life.
If the trust is lost due to your fault( you changed, lied, framed, once again did not fulfill the promise, etc.), then try to restore the trust of a loved one with all your might, otherwise you will lose it very soon.
How my friend and I cemented our friendship, returning
's confidence in it. Back in my school years, I had a close friend of Lida.
We were really good friends and shared all the secrets.
At the same time, I met a beautiful, but oh-oh-very, very narcissistic boy.
He was well aware of his attractiveness and what all girls are fond of.
At one point I was tired of his narcissism and glance at all the young ladies without exception, and we parted.
Separated, no longer communicate.
Then, somewhere in six months, he called and again offered to meet.
Well, you need to know Seryozha to understand that his proposal soon sounded like "I'm Sergius I, I give you, dust at my feet, with my attention. Come on, jump with joy and rush to me. "
At that time, I was already cured of feelings for him and refused.
He got angry and, trying to annoy me, said: "And you know that after you I met Lida. Girlfriend did not tell you? ".
During the clarification of the relationship with Lida, it turned out that this was a half-truth: they met 3 times, and then my friend did not continue to deal with him, so as not to offend me, although she liked him very much.
5 tips how to ask forgiveness from a friend of
I will not go into details, as we found out the relationship and restore friendship.
I will only say that we focused on how to restore trust, because we realized that the problem is not that Lida met with Sergei a couple of times, but that she did not tell me this.
What prevents you from regaining trust?
It's not easy to restore trust.
This takes time, and both sides( injured and guilty) should sincerely want to restore a trusting relationship.
It's not possible to restore trust for a number of reasons:
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The relationship was already under threat, and treason or betrayal just became a catalyst.
Simply put, the affected party is subconsciously happy about what happened, so that you do not do, restore friendship or love, you will not get it.
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The wrong model of the "criminal" behavior.
Instead of apologizing, he tries to shift responsibility to someone else.
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Inability to forgive.
If you are friends with a person who simply can not forgive the mistakes of another, you can hardly convince him to give you a second chance.
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Relapse of crime.
If you are not the first to deceive or substitute a loved one, then the chances that he will forgive you, decrease.
I would also not forgive a malicious recidivist.
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Closure of the culprit.
Women are more willing to reveal the soul, so this applies, above all, to men.
If you have changed your beloved or a friend, then do not continue to play the role of granite unshakable mena, tell us about your feelings.
What you need to prepare for those who are trying to regain the trust of a loved one
The process of returning trust for the one who committed the offense will definitely not be pleasant.
If you seriously decide to compete for love or friendship, then get ready for the fact that the injured party will:
- vigorously express their emotions without choosing words;
- try to hit you more painfully( both morally and, possibly, physically), intending to somehow compensate for the pain caused to her;
- to distrust your words;
- try to immediately break off all sorts of relationships with you;
- accuse you of various sins, even in those that you have never committed.
Do not try to respond aggression to aggression, do not expect to be forgiven from the first conversation.
Give time to a close person to think things over and calm down, just do not delay the process to finally lose love or friendship.
How to regain trust: take responsibility for what was done by
Often people who betray a close person are triggered by a defense mechanism, and instead of confessing to others and themselves in their own stupidity and weakness, they begin to attack: "Yes, I did meanness, but it's your fault! "
This is an utter stupidity, which will not lead to anything good.
Even if you changed your wife because she did not suit you in bed, even if you lied to a friend because you thought she did not understand you, you betrayed him.
Take full responsibility.
This is the beginning of the return of confidence.
How to restore trust: sincerely repent of what happened
Do you know what the church considers the main thing in the remission of sins?
Sincere repentance of a man in a perfect misdemeanor.
If you are trying to restore the trust of a loved one, do the same.
Do not try to find the guilty ones!
Do not look for excuses!
Just apologize by putting as much repentance in your words as possible.
If the one whose confidence you are trying to return will see that you sincerely regret what happened, his heart will quiver.
We recommend viewing the video about
in a pair.
Love each other and trust!
How to restore trust: forgive yourself of
Often people who commit treason form a set of victims.
They are so sincerely repent of what they did that turn themselves into a sexual rag, allowing them to wipe their feet on the one whose confidence they are trying to return.
You can not do this!
Yes, you must take responsibility and repent for what you have done.
Yes, you have to make a few pleasanties for a loved one.
Yes, you will have to endure his distrust in relation to yourself and some not very pleasant words.
But! You must forgive yourself and not allow yourself to be humiliated.
And the last advice to those who are looking for ways, how to restore the trust of : be prepared for the fact that, even if you are forgiven, they will follow you closely for a while.
From you subconsciously will wait for another misconduct.
Be sensitive to such behavior on the part of the victim, because it is much more difficult to regain trust than to lose it.