They come between your ninth and sixteenth birthday. They are called differently - "guests", "holidays", "red days of the calendar."It is considered indecent to mention them, their manifestations are hidden from society. Monthly in our culture is mistakenly and unjustly considered a shameful topic. Therefore, every girl sooner or later faces a problem: "How do I tell my mom that I have a period, so that no one feels shame?"
The first month is not your fault, it's your holiday, although not easy. From the girl you turned into a girl. And although the monthly ones bring certain inconveniences, this is a good sign - you are all right. Now every month for 3-7 days you will use hygienic means of protection and, perhaps, some kind of soothing and anesthetizing. But in order to learn more about this, you need to tell your mother.
How to admit to mom?
This topic in our society is often taboo: everyone is worried about it and everyone is silent about it. We also have to hear about very sad stories, as the girl was very early ripe and cried for a long time, thinking that she had cancer. Neither my mother nor my friends told her about the menstruation. And then there's the bed, the mattress, or the upholstery of the furniture, spoiled by blood stains. Can fly in, and how can I venture to tell my mother that you have the first menstruation?
Before you go to your mom, remember the following:
- She also had such a day. Once your mom woke up with the first signs of a month, with fear and shame and had to tell her mother about it. Take a teenage photo of my mother, look at her funny face and imagine how difficult it was for her to tell her mother, your grandmother: "Mom, I have a period"!Especially in those times when there were no hygiene products, tampons, pads, but there was a shortage of bandages and cotton wool. The girls were washing and boiling rags, and they also thought about where to dry them so that they could not see their father or brother. Believe me, your mother was even harder. She'll understand you!
- You will have her support. Think about how comfortable you will feel when your mom finds out about your periods. You will be able to complain of pain, weakness, heavy bleeding, ask to be released from physical education. Mom will give you a suitable pill, help you choose tampons or pads, make herbal tea, answer your questions. After all, she has been going through the months for many years and has become a real expert. You are still a minor, and all the medical decisions about your body belong to your parents. Going to the gynecologist, prescribing painkillers, examination, if the monthly painful, abundant or irregular - all this is possible in the presence of a parent or guardian.
- Go and say it directly. This is the best way. You go and say: "Mom! I want to talk to you about an important and personal matter. "And then you already have no way out. She will ask: "What happened?".And you will answer: "I have started monthly, I need your advice and support."And, perhaps, more pocket money.
- Small steps and timid hints. If you can not start this conversation, you can provoke it. How? Go with her to the supermarket for weekly purchases and throw a pack of tampons or pads into the basket.
- Note. Write a note to mom, put it in an envelope and put it on the table. Describe your problems and feelings. Many are so much easier.
- Moms are different. There are mothers who are open, kind and free in approach to difficult topics. But there are also shy ones. With such a shy mother it's better to use an evasive language. For example: "Mom, the inevitable happened to me. Now I need some hygiene products and sometimes a note from you to school so that I will be released from physical education. Do you understand, mother? "
- Let's be honest: a shy mother is not the worst option. There are mothers with whom it's difficult to talk at all, mothers are distanced, cold, tired of life, full of fear or aggression. In this case, you can find an ally or mediator who has good contact with your mother. Maybe it's my grandmother, aunt or mama's friend who, in some good moment, will say to her: "Look, it seems to me that your daughter has something to say, but is embarrassed."You better know your difficult mother and approaches to it, use diplomacy.
- And what if I told my dad? Yes, if contact with your mom is difficult or your mother does not, say it to your dad. Men are very simple and kind in such things. He will take this into consideration, will try to help you, than he can. You're not the first woman on earth, and the boys have known about men since childhood.
- What if you are alone in a family? If you have a strict family with rigid methods of upbringing, then you have much to hide. And before you confess, you'd like to cover up the tracks. Do not panic and act quickly. In the first half hour, the blood is washed without problems and without a trace. But remember that you need to remove cold means. From hot water it turns off and is absorbed into the material. Wear rubber gloves and test the selected remedy on a small and inconspicuous area of the surface. Ask the good uncle of the Internet, than quickly wash the stain. And do not hide bloody underwear or cotton wool under the bathroom or in other secluded places. This is an old trick, it is often used by timid girls, but it has not helped anyone yet. If the thing is small, take it to the dry cleaners. And you will pass by the garbage boxes - look at the discarded mattresses. They are always spotty. All the furniture stain, do not feel guilty.
Stories of girls "How I told my mother about the monthly"
Ira, 9 years old.
Aunt gave her beautiful panties in roses. The girl "spoiled" them with blood, tried to wash, could not. I cried in the bathroom, I thought that I was dying. Mom did not talk about it with her, believing that it's too early. As a result, the girl wrote a farewell note and left to "die" from home. Ira found, reassured, my mother gave her sweets, Dad - flowers. They asked for forgiveness that they did not tell us about such a usual and good thing as monthly.
Alina, 12 years old.
I went to my mother in the morning before work and school and said: "Mom, I want to talk to you like a woman. I started monthly, and I need money for pads. What advise you to take? "
Natasha, 14 years old.
Natasha has a wonderful relationship with her mother. Over dinner, she solemnly declared: "Mom, do not you worry, I must tell you something very important."The pause was prolonged, my mother turned pale."My month started!" Mom laughed with relief, and the conversation went on about what means to buy and how to deal with the flow of blood through clothing.