- 1 What should I do to change my husband?
- 1.1 Why do we change - the causes of treason
- 2 I changed my husband how to live on?
- 2.1 How to live further after cheating advice of a psychologist
- 2.2 Has changed her husband and he learned what to do?
- 3 Change of the husband - what to do if the husband has changed
- 3.1 The husband has changed how to live further advice to his wife
Woman's betrayal is much more condemned than a similar act on the part of the man.
If you abandon social stereotypes and look at the situation from a different angle, then the phrase "what to do - I betrayed my husband" you can see a lot of painful depth that arose before the fact of infidelity arose. How to survive a strange feeling and what to do next, read in the article.
What should I do to change my husband?
Until you reconsider treason - do nothing. With her confessions a woman at the peak of emotions can destroy a marriage. And do not go away, because with any betrayal, the responsibility is borne by two - the wife for the deed, and the husband - for the reasons. The problem is not with the woman( most often), but with the fact that family life has ceased to develop.
The first unpleasant emotion of a woman, if it has changed, is a sense of betrayal that family life will not be the same if it is at all.
Take a time-out and do not rush to confess to a spouse, friend or mother, otherwise reproaches, accusations and manipulations on guilt can not be avoided. A woman should understand the causes of the problem, understand that she destroyed the idyll.
Why we change - the reasons for the treason
Hundreds of different women on the forums ask psychologists questions about their treason, which boils down to a typical form: "What if I changed my husband, how to return his love."
The answer depends on the reasons that it is useful to know not only "harlots", but also men, to understand the behavior and take their part of responsibility.
1. Underestimated attractiveness or its complete disregard: if a man stopped looking at his wife as a woman, and sees in her only "mommy", who feeds, clothes and chokes on the exploit in the form of a trip to the supermarket. He should not take the position of the child. Sometimes she herself provokes such behavior with her hyperope, and there are cases when he simply did not psychologically mature to relationships at the level of mature men and women.
2. The family is in crisis. The spouse becomes distant, and the wife starts to search for compensatory relations. Such a situation is the result of inability to share experiences, to open up, to take steps to meet each other, to form "I-sayings" without any claims.
3. Treason as a way to bring emotions into the quagmire of marital life. There is no entertainment, positive emotions, quality leisure and, most importantly, development of relations. A woman subconsciously drives the marriage into a crisis, to revive him, to awaken her husband from a lethargic sleep.
4. Treason as revenge for a man for his adultery."What am I worse?" Or "I will take vengeance on you" - such thoughts are visited by wives who have caught their halves in treacherous communication. They want to make the husband hurt, give the same jealousy, and it turns out that now it's worse that the problem has not disappeared, but worsened.
5. The banal case: often the cause of infidelity is the alcoholic intoxication of a woman, during which appears an attentive man with confident behavior of the male. In such a situation, it is impossible to think and understand soberly the consequences.
I changed my husband how to live on?
A lot of confusion in the woman's soul brings treason to her husband: how to live on, advice on whom to listen to - a psychologist, mother or girlfriend? Uniquely a specialist, because he is not included in the situation, knows a lot about the causes and consequences, understands the woman, and does not make her guilty.
How to live further after the betrayal of the advice of a psychologist
The first is that you do not need to know your husband if you were not going to take decisive steps towards divorce earlier.
The second is to speak out, but it's better anonymously. For this, there are forums, random fellow travelers and specialists in the field of family psychology.
The third is to forgive yourself: everyone has the right to make a mistake. Forgiving is not only necessary for someone, but for yourself. Moreover, if it was one case, you continue to love your man - do not hurt your beloved man.
Has changed the husband and he has learned what to do or make?
"I changed my husband, he found out, I do not want to lose him" - is this situation familiar? If a man learns of treason, give him time to survive the pain. The fact that now everything will not be the same as before.
Take over your part of the responsibility, but tell the reasons. This approach helps her husband find the answer to the question "Why?".Express regret about the deed and ask not to take sharp steps.
It is possible that after this crisis you will start to go to each other for a meeting faster than before. Consider the male jealousy, his sense of betrayal and try to restore confidence. It is possible that the years will pass. ..
Treason of the husband - what to do if the husband has changed
The opposite situation - the man has changed. Basic advice of a psychologist what to do if the husband has changed ":
1. Do not do anything that will burn bridges, the main thing is not to change in revenge because of" I can too ".
2. Do not make hysterics, but show all the pain, pull away.
3. The main thing is to find in yourself the reasons why he started to do it. A woman indirectly, but provokes a man to betray. One of the reasons - the male instinct: lack of sex or its quality provokes many husbands to seek joy on the side.
Husband has changed how to live on advising his wife
Immerse yourself in your pain, do not avoid it - it's a loss: the loss of the illusion of eternal fidelity.
Then stop paying attention to your spouse and start doing something for yourself - something that you dreamed of: a new hairstyle, fitness, own business, going to work, a hobby.
When you become interesting to yourself, you automatically start to interest the man. And not only his own. And this, oh, how it increases self-esteem.