How to punish a child? How to punish correctly if the child does not obey? Education without punishment

The article will tell you about the methods of punishment of children and about the psychology of punishment.

The educational process is not without penalties. This is one of the methods of education, which helps to direct the child's behavior in the right direction and point out the perfect mistakes. The absence of punishments leads to the child's uncontrollability.

And, if at a younger age his actions are perceived by others as innocent pranks, then at an older age problems with socialization may arise. We all live in a society and, whether it is desirable to parents or not, the child should develop according to the standard norms. However, often the parents go too far in education.

Punishment is not compatible with cruelty. Also, punishments have nothing to do with humiliation and non-observance of human rights. The child is the same person who has his desires and life position. The role of parents is to direct the baby in the right direction and point out mistakes.

Punishing a child

Causes of behavior disorder

The first thing parents should understand is the causes of behavioral disorders. After all, sometimes enough to eliminate the cause of the scandal.

• Desire to win parental attention. It happens that in a family where both parents work the kid loses their attention. The only way to distract parents from their deeds is bad behavior. Only then the parents begin to communicate with the baby, even in the form of punishments. If the child sees such a tendency in the behavior of parents, then behave badly it will be quite often. The only way out of this situation is to understand the parents with their schedule, spend more time with their child
• Often, a child of preschool age behaves badly not specifically. Parents should study and understand the age features, take them into account when raising
• Nervous excitability. Modern children suffer from hyperactivity, they find it difficult to concentrate and calm down. One of the reasons is the disturbance of the nervous system as a result of using artificial toys. This term means using a TV, computer, tablet and phone. At the preschool age, contact of children with these devices is highly undesirable.
• Presence of diseases. Poor state of health and the inability to express it, often becomes the cause of capriciousness and bad behavior in children.

Causes of bad behavior.

Why can I punish a child?

As noted above, young children often do not specifically violate discipline. In this case, the parents should enter the position of a small child and patiently teach him the necessary skills. Situations in which to punish the kid still stands:

• For inappropriate hysterics. Often, children's tantrums catch the adults by surprise. The child has already realized that by rolling a scandal in a shop or in a park, he easily gets what he wants. If you do not stop this behavior, then hysterics baby will use more often
• for violation of prohibitions. Every age has its own rules of conduct and rules. They must be agreed with the child in advance.
• For intentionally bad behavior. Sometimes it happens that children at school age begin to manipulate adults. In this case, you need to explain and demonstrate to the child that the educational process is your responsibility, and not the entertainment of the
• . The punishment should be treated very carefully. A big plus if the parents learn to perceive the behavior of the child without emotion. Then and the educational process will be easier for all members of the family

How to punish the child for bad behavior?

In pedagogy, there are several methods of punishing children:

• Educational discussion with the analysis of the perfect deed. This method is recognized as the most effective punishment for children of different ages. Only the types of conversations should be different. For example, it is inappropriate to talk with a teenager, as with a preschooler. In this case, the conversation will not bring the result.
• Ignoring the baby. Such a way of punishment perfectly copes with children's hysterics
• Deprivation of entertainment, for example watching TV or walking with friends
• Depriving of material benefits( for example, depriving of pocket funds and gifts)
• Physical punishment
• Child isolation( for example, cornering)

Punishment methods

HowPunish a child for bad grades

Bad grades are a stumbling block between parents and children. On the one hand, they can indicate the child's disability. On the other hand, they may indicate the development of the baby in another direction. Parents should treat the child with understanding and not demand impossible from him.

• Understand the reason for the appearance of bad ratings. Perhaps this is not your child's fault. Maybe he has a difficult relationship with the teacher
• Find out the strengths of the baby. It happens that a child gets bad grades in mathematics. However, he is the best in the class in English and other humanitarian subjects. Pay attention to this when choosing a future profession.
• . If the child is not learning well in all subjects, talk with him. Surely there are factors that prevent him from studying
• Excessively punishing the child for bad grades is impossible, otherwise you completely beat the desire to learn
• Combine punishment with promotions. Give incentives to the child to study( for example, that he will go to the seaside in the summer if he finishes the year without triples)

Punishment for bad grades

Rules for punishing children

To penalties were not meaningless cruelty, they should be aimed specifically at eliminating behavior errors. Punishments in no case should concern the personality of the child himself. At punishment, parents are obliged to observe some rules:

• Do not punish a child in a state of aggression. This can only aggravate the conflict
• The best education is a personal example. It's foolish to punish the child for doing it yourself
• Do not go on the personality of
• Do not compare the child with others, it lowers the self-esteem and sets up the child against the opponent
• . The whole family must adhere to one line of education. It is unacceptable for the mother to allow what the father of the
• prohibits. Observe your own promises and rules
• Before you punish the child, discuss his behavior. Understand why he did exactly that.
• Each sentence must end in reconciliation. Do not stretch the punishment for too long a time

Raising a child without punishment

Completely avoid punishment is impossible. In one way or another, all parents punish their children. And do not punish only those who are absolutely indifferent to the life of the baby. However, in the power of each family to reduce the punishment to a minimum.

• To show patience and understanding. The child is the same person as you are. In each of his actions, the meaning is laid. Try to understand the motives of the child's behavior. Then, the approach to the sky will be found much easier
• Observe your own rules. For example, there is a rule not to watch TV until the lessons and home affairs are completed. Naturally, the child will again and again ask permission, so that you will give in to him. And once you lose, you can forget about this
• rule. The educational process should be based on a personal example. For example, it is difficult to instill in a child a love of reading, if he does not see his parents with a book in his hands.
• Do not press on the child. Compose rules of conduct
• Perceive the child as an individual. Even at a small age, the child has a character and temperament. Especially it should be taken into account when raising adolescents. Do not treat the child as a baby
• Encourage the child for good behavior and compliance with the rules. However, everything must be a measure. The child should not behave well just to encourage
• . Share the interests of the baby, spend more time together. If the child will see what you need, he will want to go to contact

Physical punishment

Psychology of physical punishment

Teachers of all countries have already proved the ineffectiveness of physical punishment. Moreover, they adversely affect the development of personality and life skills.

• Parents often use physical punishment for self-assertion. Bad mood, reluctance to pay attention to the child - the main causes of physical punishment
• The child does not learn new skills through such punishments
• Physical punishment leads to fears of the child, self-doubt. The kid ceases to trust the parents of
• Such punishments carry the child's "revenge".With physical pain, the child can not respond in the same way, because he avenges in other ways.
• Physical punishment severely affects family relationships
• Punishments of the physical plan lead to problems of the child in relationships with peers. A kid can become intimidated, unable to stand up for himself. Another option is the cruelty of the child in relation to peers, younger children and animals.

How to avoid the use of physical punishment?

• Parents and other family members must clearly understand the inadmissibility of such penalties
• In order not to resort to physical punishment, parents should learn other methods of punishment.
• It happens that parents justify the physical impact on the child of the inability to "get through" to him. However, this is only an indicator of the impatience of the parents themselves
• To find the approach to the child, one must understand his motives and goals. Only after this, you can establish relationships with the baby

The lack of physical punishment

The most important thing is the love of children and the manifestation of their attention. Then, in each family there will be healthy and harmonious relationships.

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