Please tell me, dear readers of the Diary of Success, did you have to find yourself in a conflict situation?
I think so!
After all, conflicts await us at every corner: at home, at work, on the street, in public transport and even on a bench in the park.
Like any fire, the conflict can flare up literally in a second.
However, it may take a lot longer to extinguish it.
And if you do not know how to get out of the situation correctly, then you just need to learn ways to exit the conflict .
What is conflict and where does it come from?
Conflict is a social phenomenon that occurs between two, hostile, sides.
Depending on the chosen strategy of behavior, the conflict can fade or flare up more.
And so that in your case there is no flare-up, you must choose the right tactics to exit the conflict.
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So that get out of the conflict you can use the following tactics:
- violence;
- compromise;
- depreciation;
- parting;
- wrestling;
- not coming into conflict.
Now let's examine each method in more detail in detail.
Violence is not the best way out of the conflict
In this case, one can say one thing - the strongest wins.
The weaker side obeys the requirements of the alpha male( well, or the female).
Similar options for resolving a conflict can occur daily at work, when the chief threatens with fines, reprimands or disciplinary sanctions.
Naturally, in this case, violence only aggravates the situation and the loser begins to look for ways of revenge, resistance or insurrection.
Domestic violence leads to the fact that husbands begin to walk "to the left," children run away from home, and the victor can not enjoy his victory to the fullest.
On a global scale, violence leads to massive riots, fights and even wars between countries.
So remember, from violence you can only see violence.
Do you want it?
I'll give you an example of how violence works.
In the student body, working in a hotel, I needed a day off to go to a concert of my favorite band.
The event fell out just for my shift.
I without a back thought bought a ticket( which cost me a lot of money) and asked the head for a day off.
In the day off I was refused - the conflict was brewing.
I tried different options, but the head stated that he was in charge and would be as he said. And if I leave on my own, he'll fire me quickly.
Do you think the conflict is over?
And here not!
In the end, I thought: "You do not want to let me go for one day, I will not work for 2 weeks!"
And getting sick, I did not go to work for 2 weeks. And even more so it was not my fault that the disease fell just before the concert. ..
Or here is another real situation from my life. ..
Once I went on an excursion to Lviv and looked after myself to buy a heaped iron( I decidedto give it to his grandmother for his birthday).
On all products in one of the technical stores just went very tempting action and you understand that the prices were fabulously cheap. .. the iron I chose was left alone. ..
And what do you think?
I, along with another young lady, clung to this unfortunate iron)). ..
We probably looked at each other for about a minute and waited for the goods to wait until one of us yielded. .
Since I'm on the zodiac sign Capricorn( my stubbornnessmain feature) I was not going to give the already selected grandmother's gift.
The young lady began to argue with me, to prove that she was the first to pick up this iron, that I should give in to her and the point. .. but that was not it!🙂
This incomprehensible situation lasted a few more minutes. .
Honestly. .. I thought it would come to a scuffle until I remembered that on the official website of the Comfy store the same products are presented as in the store, it's only cheaper. .. plus you will pack this thing and bring it home. .
So I gave a smileThis iron is a nervous girl and went to enjoy tasty Lviv coffee.
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If there was no online store - I do not even imagine what would have resulted in this whole situation!
Now you understand what the phrase means: violence breeds violence?
Do not use this technique unless you want to get caught up in the ears of the conflict.
To get out of the conflict, it is better to look for a compromise
I consider this solution of the disputable situation to be the most optimal and effective.
In this case, both parties to the conflict are meeting each other and are looking for an intermediate solution.
This situation allows its participants to get out of the situation with at least something.
After all, otherwise you can stay with nothing at all.
For example, if in my situation the head let me go, but in return would demand one extra shift.
Agree, this decision would be much smarter and everyone could win in a controversial situation.
Or, for example, in the case of a valuable employee asking for a salary increase.
The parties can come together somewhere in the middle and stay in the black.
Trade-offs are good because they teach both sides to interact and look for possible solutions to the current situation.
Use depreciation as a way out of the conflict
This way out of the conflict will help in dealing with strangers.
Imagine the situation: you are traveling in a transport / sit in a state institution / stand in line and suddenly a ham approaches you and says something like: "What has collapsed?" Or "That's the young people gone, one bummer, they will not give up the old man's place".
In such situations, people usually begin to be rude in response or quietly move away, transferring their nervousness to the husband / wife / child.
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To get out quietly from this situation, you must "amortize" the opponent's behavior.
On the phrase "What has collapsed?" You can safely answer: "Yes, it collapsed. And what? "
Believe me, these phrases immediately introduce the conflicting person into a stupor and he is lost!
Similar phrases can immediately end the dispute and keep your peace of mind!
Sometimes the best way out of the conflict is the parting of
Sometimes the conflict between two people can be so strong that the best solution is just parting.
That's why the couple part, the children leave as far as possible, and the best friends cease to be the best.
In the case of complex relationships with colleagues, it is sometimes easier to leave than to continue to try to do something.
Parting is the most recent and sad stage of conflict. If people leave, it means they've tried every possible option.
However, do not be sad about this, because the termination of relations with some people, promise a new relationship with other people.
Someone must defeat
This option is suitable for players, for those who put their interests above the interests of others.
In case of a fight, often unfair rules of the game are used, muhlevstvo, substitution, etc.
It is about the struggle between the participants of the beauty contest, Olympic prize-winners or just colleagues fighting for the right to occupy the director's chair.
In any case, until someone wins, the tense situation will not end.
Several facts about the conflicts, the reasons for their occurrence
and how to get out of them,
see also in the video:
Want to quickly get out of the conflict - do not join it
How can you turn this receiver on?
Now I will teach.
In situations where:
- stepped on your foot on the bus,
- someone kick kicked you,
- in the queue in front of you squeezed the brazen woman,
we always do the same.
How?
Beginning to yell wildly, kosterim someone else spinogryza, talking to the woman all that think about it, etc.
But you will agree, we ourselves only inflame the conflict.
Instead of abruptly breaking out, we can take a deep breath to relieve stress and give out an offense to our offender in a soft form such as: "Dear sir, do you know that you put your foot on mine?"
Agree if youI'd say something like that, you'd be tortured to apologize.
So that other people will react to your similar comments in the most amiable way.
And finally. . I want to wish you to get out of the conflict only with benefit for both sides, and also with minimal nervous losses.