How to teach a child a word can not be?

The article reveals the principles of teaching a child the word "impossible", contains an algorithm of actions to form a correct ban, indicates the age at which it is better to accustom to this word.

Sooner or later, in the life of young parents, a period comes when their child passes into the phase of active research and begins to explore the world around, not missing anything that comes in the way.

Parents, who are naturally worried about the safety of their crumbs, for the first time pronounce the word "impossible."How to do it correctly, so that the child understands you, and what to do if the kid ignores your words?

When does the child begin to understand the word can not be?

A child can really take the ban only after a year. But the need to limit his actions often arises long before that. For example, with the appearance of teeth, a child can bite his mother by the chest, or sitting on his knees in an adult, can pull a tablecloth on the table, and when he fully masters crawling, he begins to check the house for strength.
You can try to tell him that you can not do this, threaten with your finger and make a severe face, the kid will feel that you are angry, but hardly understands what it means.

IMPORTANT: At the age of one year, the most effective way to stop the unwanted behavior of a child is to switch his attention to a more interesting occupation.

In addition, most cases when you have a desire to say "no", "can not" or "do not do this" can be prevented by maximally securing the space in which the child is: put the plugs on the sockets, hide the crystal vases, remove dangerous thingsfrom the lower shelves, rearrange the pots with flowers higher.

How to teach a child to understand a word is impossible?

Establishing boundaries is an important component of the child's discipline. Most children are prone to order and love the rules. This is their way of protection from a terrible incomprehensible big world.
Very often parents pronounce the word "impossible" by inertia, at a subconscious level, when the child:

• is in danger
• can harm the health of another child or adult
• is doing something that is uncomfortable, dislikes, prevents adults

If in the first two casesbans are justified, then in the third parents sometimes use their superiority and excessively restrict the child, which can adversely affect its development.

Read more about this in the article The word can not be given to children. Do I need to say the word "can not" to the child?

It is necessary to say "no" correctly, always before analyzing the essence of the ban. The basic principles of teaching a child the word "impossible":

• Act together
  The family must have a clear understanding that if one member of the family forbids something to the baby, the other one necessarily supports his opinion in the child. If there is disagreement, adults should speak out alone with each other. The child should understand that if he was told "no", then this rule, which can not be changed by other adults

• Do not prohibit often
  You can not say "impossible" only in the case, in cases when the child's actions present a real danger to him or others. Otherwise, if you often prohibit what the child is interested in, the baby will decide that everything is not allowed and will not react even when it threatens his health.
• . Be consistent.
  . If the prohibition was made, it is not subject to change, it is notshould not affect the child's reaction, nor the reaction of others, nor place, nor time. In other words, if something can not be done on a normal day, then do not make exceptions on a holiday, or if you can not go home, it is not possible either at a party, shop, etc.
• Expressing love
  A child should understand that if something is forbidden does not mean that they do not like
• . Speak with oneself
  Explain to the child why it is impossible to do this or that, and also talk with him if he did not react to your wordsthe first time you need it the way you would like it to communicate with you. Put yourself in the place of the baby and choose the right words.

• . Show hardness.
  . Try to keep your voice firm and unshakable. The kid should notice the change in voice intonation and take seriously what you are saying to him.
• Explain
  It's not enough just to say no, you have to explain why you are forbidding anything. Otherwise, the child will think that you can not do this in your presence, becauseyou do not like it or you are angry, but will try to try again when you are alone with yourself. It is important that the child really understand why it is not possible to
• Propose an alternative to
  . The ban will be easier to understand if a child is offered a different occupation in return, another toy or a promise to give him what he wants later, etc. Only be sure to keep your promises. Children remember such things better than adults. Perhaps the child will quickly switch attention and will not resist the prohibition, which will help to avoid unnecessary conflict.
• Obviousness of the
  requirement Formulate your rules in a language understandable for the child, use simple words. For example: "do not touch, it will be hot" or "can not, my mother is hurt."

How can I explain a child to a word?

If the child intends to commit something unauthorized, do not rush to shout from afar "can not".The algorithm for your actions should be as follows:

1. Approach the child
2. Remove it from danger or take away the object of prohibition
3. Look into the eyes of the baby and firmly, but do not loudly say "not allowed"
4. Explain the reason for the prohibition
5. Suggest alternative

For example, the child reaches for a hot mugon the table. You should carefully remove the baby's hand from the hot object, take the mug in your hand and show it to the child, explain that there is a hot drink in it that can bring pain.

Alternatively, you can put the child's finger on the mug for a couple of seconds so that it verifies the truth of your words in your experience. Then ask him to play, for example, with another mug( plastic and empty).

What if the child does not react to the word?

Check if you are missing out on any of the above principles of teaching your child the word "impossible."
You may be too early in asking the child for the perfect obedience. It is normal that the baby does not immediately begin to show the reaction that you expect.

Children already from the age of 9 months begin to express their opinion and try to find the limits of permissibility.

In addition, the child has tremendous willpower, without which he could not have achieved such successes in the early years. Therefore, in order to establish the rules and ensure that the child follows them, you need to be patient, repeat the same prohibition again and again until the child learns it.

If the child does not react to your words, do not:

• to beat him on the hands
  the hands and mouth of the kid are the most important research tools, do not beat the child's desire to explore the world
• scream
  the child will understand better what you want to convey to him if your voice is calm and balanced

What to do,if a child does not understand a word a year, is not it?

Despite the fact that most children, starting from 7-8 months, intuitively understand when you are angry and forbid them anything, they can not fully adequately react to the restriction and realize what they want from them.

Therefore, if a one-year-old does not hurry to follow your instructions, this is a normal reaction. Period from one year to three years is the ideal time for laying the foundations of the discipline of the child. Use this time to explain to the child what you can and can not do.

What if the child does not understand the word in 2 years?

• Most likely, the kid understands what you mean when you say "you can not," he just does not want to follow this prohibition, he considers it unreasonable and sees that nothing happens if he breaks it.
• The reason for this reaction is often hidden in the wrongthe behavior of parents who first forbid, and then, if the child is crying heavily, they are allowed, or the mother forbids, and grandmother sneakly allows. Perhaps you use the word "no" too often, and the kid has ceased to perceive it.
• . Be consistent and patient, correct mistakes that you made, do not encourage unacceptable behavior, and after a while the child will reconcile with the rules of

. How can you teach a child a word? Komarovsky

Experienced pediatrician E. Komarovsky singles out three rules regarding the word "impossible":

1. Child screams should not change the decisions of the parent who said "can not"
2. We should not allow situations when the pope says "no" and the mother says "yes" to
3. "No "is always" no ", i.e.should not be today, but tomorrow you can already

• In addition, the pediatrician supports the view that in order for a child to learn the word "impossible" and perceive it adequately, there should not be prohibitions."No" from the lips of parents should sound rare, but to be fulfilled by the child without question. In other words, the toddler should see in this word a real threat to
• To begin teaching the child the word "impossible" the doctor advises as early as possible( when the child is still crawling), while the majority of parents begin to pay serious attention to disobedience of the child only in 4-5 years
• Thus, in order to teach the child the word "impossible", to get from him a true understanding of the word and to develop an appropriate response, it is necessary to pay due attention to it, follow certain principles and be persistent

Video: Nepdisobedient child - Doctor of Komarovsky's school