What is the difference between raising a girl and a boy? How to raise a boy and a girl

Tips of psychologists on the general educational process of children.

The process of raising children is very complex and multivalued. The general principles of the educational process are aimed at the methods, content and organization of this process. It is very important for parents to choose the optimal system of education for their child. Given his personality. There are no ready-made recipes for education. There are general requirements to the principles of the upbringing process:

• obligatory is not educational words, but the real application of principles in life
• complexity - all principles are applied simultaneously
• equivalence - there are no primary and secondary principles, they all have the same right to use

Having basic concepts aboutgeneral requirements to the principles of education, parents need to develop their own methods of approach.

Advice to mothers on raising children

• We love the child, just because he is
• Do not beat, do not punish the baby. This gives rise to fear and insecurity
• We trust the child. The child should not only listen to the words of love, but also find confirmation in this. Distrust generates a deception
• We communicate on an equal footing, do not slyusyaemsya. Thus it is necessary to descend to a level of understanding of the child
• At the time of communication with the child, sit down. Mom and baby should look at each other on the same level of height
• We praise the baby, even for the smallest thing. We justify for what we praise
• We caress, we embrace the child at every opportunity, in the moments when he is ready to accept your affection
• We accept any offered help. If even the little one is very small and can not handle it himself
• . We respect our baby. This is a reciprocal process. While respecting the child, he will respect you
• Teach a child to talk about what he is tormenting. We bring to the child that with you in the childhood happened the same thing. This will help get rid of many of the children's fears.
• . Do not combine the attitude to the child with his actions.
• . Do not refuse the child for help. Explain to him, with what he can cope alone, and with what with your help
• We stand on the side of the child in a conflict with strangers. If he is not right to talk about this at home alone
• Teach the child to clean up from the very youngest years. By the age of seven it will be difficult to do
• We are not afraid to ask forgiveness from the child if he is offended by you. Thus, parents and children come together
• Communicate with the child in a trustful and even tone. Do not be afraid to exercise fairness
• Teach the child to express their opinion, reason, ask questions. Developed sociability in a child
• Do not compare your baby with other children. We love him the way he is.
• We teach children to be independent. Let the child make the decision, take the initiative, take the initiative, make a choice
• We bring the child to the opportunity to change something in his life, if he is dissatisfied with something
• We take decisions on household issues of your family together with the child
• Carefully and accurately give instructions to your children. Parents' councils lay a certain program in the child for life. Will they help or slow down its success, depends on the quality of these tips

Future woman or how to educate a girl?

• Bringing up the girl is important, as soon as possible to understand that you are raising a future woman. Grow a girl in the modern world, a difficult task
• As a result of the war for equality, women won. But their positions were missed. The feminine naivete, innocence, cleanliness and suppleness of the
• have disappeared. Therefore, the question of what is the aim of education: on professional achievement or the creation of a family? What traits to encourage, and which ones to try to muffle? It is necessary to solve to parents. To do this, you need to clearly understand how the result of education should be, although very remote

Several common nuances for the successful education of girls:

• Maternal love - just for what you are. Father's admiration for the daughter, as from the future woman. All this forms the child's trust in the world. Hence self-esteem, self-sufficiency. A girl who has grown up in an atmosphere of love will instinctively avoid another situation. This is the key to her personal happiness
• Teach the baby to love herself. Little girls are sensitive to praise. We praise the girl for her actions, for her knowledge. We persuade her of her beauty, no matter what external data her nature has awarded. Doubts in its attractiveness over time can become a source of complexes and setbacks in personal life.
• The little lady very quickly grasps everything and knows how to achieve her. If you manipulate your daughter to get obedience: "I'm very scared when you jump off the chair."Prepare for the fact that hirulya will immediately repeat your maneuver. She will say that she is very scared, if her mother does not allow watching TV.It's good: a future woman should be able to manipulate people. Explain to her that her cunning can be a different reaction. Frivolity and insistence on our own opinion
• Teach a daughter to put things in order. Girls like to clean and fold things, to be neat. This is a natural gift for girls. And if you skillfully cultivate this desire in them, in the future problems with the order will not be

It is desirable to bring up in the girl:

Politeness

This is the main virtue of this woman. To be able in the extreme situation to be restrained and educated, this is an exceptional skill. Something is given to the girl by nature. But the rest needs to be practiced from childhood. Practice saying magic words. And then we teach the child in practice, with his example

Mutual respect

• An important quality for a real woman is to respect and be respected. We forbid the girl to be rude. Explain how the evil words of people hurt
• Teach your daughter to appreciate the merits of others
• Help her to say her emotions: "I'm angry, I'm offended that. ..".Here it should be explained what angered and offended. It's not easy - not all adults are able to adequately express their emotions

Sophistication

• To develop a delicate taste and easy, and not easy. In the matter of good taste, everything depends on the mother. If parents have an exquisite taste, then the adoptive daughter has the opportunity to develop it.
• Buy together new things. Try to take stylish and branded things. If there is no possibility to take quality things constantly, you can occasionally spoil your favorite. We draw the attention of the daughter to the fashionable style of
• We discuss together what it is worth to wear that is not worth it
• We help the girl to choose what suits her. Do not impose your opinion.
• The task of parents to recognize the individuality and contribute to the development of the child's personality. Do not try to mold your dream of it

How to raise a girl without a father?

• A girl without a dad can be brought up in different ways. For the daughter it is very important how the mother relates to the father. The father, regardless of the desire, participates in the upbringing of the daughter, through the prism of the relationship with the mother of the child raising them.
• If the daughter, raised without the pope, sees her mother happy and held without a father. Living full life. If my mother says positive about my father. The reason for the severance of the parents' relations is accepted with all my heart. Such a girl may not be at all different from the others brought up by the fathers of
• . If this is not the case, it is very difficult for a girl growing up in a complete family to build relationships with men in the future. This is manifested in excessive modesty, and maybe vice versa in hyper sexuality. After all, before your eyes there is no pattern of right relations between people of the opposite sex.
• And you do not need to scold your daughter. Such a girl needs to help rethink the mother image of her father. This gives her the opportunity not to pass on to her daughter the burden of the inheritance of the negative female stereotype

How to raise a teenage girl?

There are some peculiarities in the education of adolescent girls:

• During the transition period, the children's appearance changes. For girls this is especially important. We try to be very correct with comments. What would not hurt the delicate psyche of a teenage girl
• Irritability, insolence, disobedience. The girl may have acne on the skin, the structure and color of the hair will change. You can not leave all this unchecked. A girl can start to feel shy and shut up in herself. Attract your daughter to sports, music, dancing. Interest it as much as possible with various circles, additional formations. Let's take part in competitions, competitions
• If you had authority before the transition period for the child. That big problems will not be difficult to survive together. If you have not previously found contact with your daughter, it is unlikely that this will happen in the adolescent period. The child is likely to be completely out of control. Do not try to praise the girl, but do not overdo it in reproaches. Observe harmony. Encourage a certain model of behavior in a friendly manner, without the pressure of
• We accustom the teenage girl to personal hygiene. This includes not only the shower, but also the facial and body skin care. Cleansing cosmetics from the face
• We select together make-up. A new hairstyle. After all, she is now completely "adult"
• Preparing the girl for menstruation. We explain the principle of the appearance of monthly
• . Tell about the methods of contraception
• Teach us to teach good tones. The best lesson is you. If you are polite and good-natured, your child will learn this rule without words. If you are bold and rude, the child will communicate like you
  In the transition period it is especially important to be for your daughter not just a mom, but a girlfriend. Close native and accessible. That at any time the daughter could come running and whisper about her new discoveries. Then this period will pass for parents and children easily, calmly and not noticeably

How to raise a man from a boy?

The question of how to raise a man from a boy, excites not only single mothers, but also families where there is a mother and father. Very important is the positive role of men in the family. The son will aspire to be like his father, to imitate him.

If the mother is proud and praises her husband, then the son will tend to be like him. If a mother scolds and humiliates a man, a notorious, not self-assured, never become a real man, a male person, will grow up.

Psychologist's advice on the education of the boy

• It is necessary to look from the mother's side as father and son are walking on the street. He does not run headlong from the place where the child fell. Does not scream. And calmly gives to the child, repeatedly learn to overcome the ill-fated obstacle. The father does not prevent the child from playing mischievous games; on the contrary, it supports
• . It is very important for mother to learn from her father what can be ceded to the boy, and what you need to insist on your own. After all, my father was once a boy. Obvious fact fathers are easier to cope with boys than mothers
• . It's very important for a little kid to encourage endurance. If the boy fell, hit and did not cry, Mom praises him, but he does not cry. And he does not set up an alternative, that he is a man and he can not cry. This is an important accent. Correctly it is necessary to bring up endurance. Otherwise, the child simply does not want to be a man, since he does not regret it.
• In a conversation, say the word "boy" by connecting with the concept "brave" and "good."At the subconscious level, these strong male associations
• have been laid down since childhood. At the age of three years, get more machines, pistols. Take not very bright girls' toys. Do not let the hard virtual scenes watch
• Play firefighters, rescuers, captains
• At five six years, we teach the child to make. We give him the opportunity to hammer nails, saw, suppress tools to dad in the work on the house.
• Boys are very important active games. Let them pounce and run, express their energy and activity.
• Teach the boy good manners: let him give way to buses for women and the elderly. Says "please", "thanks"
• We accustom our son to the order: teach him to clean up after himself, wash dishes, wash socks
• Teach us to be gentle. Explain that it is not at all embarrassing to show caress and concern for children, animal colors.
• Teach your son to pronounce emotions. The kid can cry with hurt, bite with anger. Explain to him that this is normal. Emotion dictates how to behave yourself. Talk with your child about your emotions. Thanks to your help with age, he will understand what is embarrassment and resentment, anger and longing. He will learn how to deal with his emotions with dignity and do not hesitate to manifest them
• Give him the opportunity to believe in something. There will not always be a mother nearby when you have to experience your son's pain and fear, disappointment and resentment. Give him faith in the fact that he is not alone, even when you are not around
• Give the opportunity to his son to help. Become an example for the son

Need:

• Tell stories, watch cartoons, movies, where heroes are bold and kind princes, defenders of the defender
• Play with a variety of toys. Sometimes even with doll girls, a cook, a seamstress. It is useful for the child to be diversified learns to take care of small and women
• Communicate with friends with the child. The child should learn how to communicate with men on the example of
• . To talk about their parents positively. Visit with the boy more often
• Mom respond about dad only positively
• Emphasize men's deeds, not focusing on weak ones

You can not:

• Sleep a boy with a mother from an early age
• Impose an opinion
• Force only what you say
• Play with your favorite toys
• Ignore the ideas of the son
• Do not play with boys that you do not like
• Intercede for the child if someone took away his toy. To recite the bully and return the toy to his son
• Join the conflict with his peers on the side of his son, not giving the opportunity to understand himself
• Constantly indulging and interceding when the other parent makes a remark
• Do not call the boy a diminutive petting words. Emphasize the male dignity of treatment: "hero", "defender", "boy", "son"

Little boys are very affectionate and affectionate. They really need your love. Do not hesitate to kiss the baby. From this he will not grow slobbery. He will just keep this feeling of maternal love for life.

Video: How to properly raise boys. Tips for psychologists

How to raise a boy without a father alone?

• You can not assign to the son the functions of the husband. Relations are formed, which later do not give the son to live his life.
• . Mom should be told to the child that after becoming an adult, he needs to find his soul mate. Have children. Raising their children and taking care of their beloved
• Mom must remain for her son a weak and defenseless woman. And do not try to replace a man.
• . Allow the child to regret you.
• . If the father has left or is dead, remember the child only positive moments.
• . If the parents are divorced and the pope has the opportunity to communicate with his son, do not interfere. The child should receive the male energy
• Do not be lazy and do not be too strict
• Do not try to replace your dad yourself
• Choose a role model, your dad, brother, coach. Let the baby take the example of a positive man.
• . Send your son to the
• section. Read books, watch movies about brave musketeers and rescuers.
• . Show positive examples of men on the street.
• . Do not shift your grievances to your husband, do not deprive your son of boyhood.

. How to raise a teenage boy?

• The transition age of a boy is a difficult period for parents
• A boy can get into a bad environment and commit many unfaithful actions
• Psychologists advise you to remember how it happened at this age for you, to understand on yourself what the boy feels

We go down to his level of understanding and proceed tothe correct psychological impact:

• Become a friend to his son. A friend will always support and not condemn. Do not swear and do not punish if you smell the smell of tobacco. Once frightened you will forever push your son away from you. We talk with him about how it does not like girls, that it is not fashionable now. How does this harm the health of the
• ? The teenager does not want to be at home. He's bored. He seeks to know the world. We find common themes. We are interested in what your son likes. Do not criticize his views. We share his interests
• It is important for a boy to feel any responsibility at this age. We load him with workable men's errands. For example, we repair together with my dad a computer. It's interesting and will help the dad giving tools to get acquainted with the new skills of
• We trust the child, if you are with him in one topic, a good parental impact will not be left without a trace
• Do not ask intimate questions if the teenager did not start the conversation on this topic. We accidentally leave an open article on this topic on the table. A teenager will imperceptibly study this topic
• In a family where there is no father. Raising a teenager is more difficult. The boy does not have a male pattern of behavior before him. It is very dangerous. For the sample negative examples of peers can take. It is necessary to control the surrounding friends of the child. Mom positive examples should interest the teenager. That he imitated Jackie Chan, for example, and not a hooligan from a neighboring courtyard. From one conversation the teenager will not change, but probably will reflect. Continue conversations constantly
• We bring to the child the benefit of higher education. On the example of his idols, for example, Chester Bennington, who made a successful career and graduated. Speak with the free simple language
• We make the boy play sports, provided that he chooses the kind of section. This shows that we trust the child in the choice. The son will answer you with the same confidence
• Correctly build your relationship with a teenager, a few hours of silence, in order to express your dissatisfaction, it will be enough

What is different about the education of a girl from raising a boy?

The main difference in the education of a boy and a girl is that the boy needs to be trusted, and the girl needs to be taken care of.

• For his son too expressive care will look like a mistrust in his independence. Lack of faith in his ability to do something on his own
• If the daughters grant freedom of action, it may seem that she does not need anyone, she is not loved by
• Son to grow caring one needs trust
• Daughters to be able to trust someone need care

Several differences of the boyand girls:

• It's important for young jelly people that love for them is manifested in supporting their independence. He needs to be motivated positively about his activities and the results of
• . It's important for the little ladies that they would be loved for what they are as they are. We need to understand their feelings and desires
• Boys need to admire for the results achieved for their work
• Babies need to admire themselves, not their actions
• Boy for success needs the purpose and approval of
• The little lady needs help and approval
• The boy is happy if his help is neededsomeone. If he is not in demand, he may fall into disheartenedness
• A baby that would be a happy woman needs help and support. If you have to act without support, a girl, and in the future a woman, will be unhappy. She will feel that no one needs the
• . The boy takes care when he feels the trust and approval of
• . The girl, confident and trusts her family when she feels care and attention to herself

Natasha: It turned out that her son was brought up alone. When my son was born, I often went on business trips. Left her son with her parents. Worked as a geologist. I wanted to defend my thesis. At the age of 14, the son was in a bad company, problems began. I stopped my business trips and started raising up. But it was already late. I lost my son. He was killed in another scuffle. Now neither money nor a dissertation is needed. I need a son, but I do not have a son.

Andrew: I was brought up with my grandparents. Has grown strong enough personality. Successful and happy. Two children. Beloved wife. I can say from my own experience, it does not matter who brings up. It is important how.

Svetlana: When there is no father, it's not so scary. When there are fathers who would not have been better at all. This is already a problem. Where to take a positive example, if the father is engaged in a child in another family. I want to cry because of insult when I see how my son repeats my habits in everyday life.

In search of the best ways of education, we unwittingly become better. Bringing up children, we are educated ourselves.

Video: Errors in raising children. Osipov. A.A