To diversify the family holiday and corporate event will help horoscopes, composed in a joking handicap. With such entertainment you can give a good mood to all those present and make a "good forecast" for the coming year.
Contents of
- Why do I need a humorous horoscope?
- Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Aries men and women for 2017
- Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Taurus men and women for 2017
- Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Gemini men and women for 2017
- Comic horoscope in verseand prose for Cancer of man and woman for 2017
- Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Leo men and women for 2017
- Comic horoscope in verse and prose for the Virgin men and women for 2017
- Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Libra menand women are2017
- Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Scorpio men and women in 2017
- Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Sagittarius men and women for 2017
- Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Capricorn man and woman for 2017
- Comic horoscopein verses and prose for Aquarius men and women for 2017
- Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Pisces men and women for 2017
- Video: "The comic horoscope for 2017.Humorous Poems on the Signs of the Horoscope »
Why do I need a humorous horoscope?
It so happened that modern man is very superstitious. In pursuit of good life, well-being, respected position and family happiness, he often relies on the "will of the stars" and magic. And this is not bad at all!
Psychologically adjusting itself to good changes in, it is realistic to achieve victories in everyday life! The main thing is to believe and make efforts. The humorous horoscope, unlike the usual, is made in a humorous way.
Such an astrological forecast can be in prose or laid down in verse. Poems, by the way, are more easily and positively perceived by people at the event, with any feast and on any holiday.
The peculiarity of the playful - is to gently hint about the shortcomings of a certain zodiac sign and "generously predict" good changes in the coming or coming year. Such an "admonition" will surely make every guest smile smile and leave him pleasant memories.
IMPORTANT: The humorous horoscope, as a rule, is made on the basis of the present, created by astrologers. But, it is written in a more understandable language, simple words and complemented by wishes.
Comic horoscope in verse and prose for Aries men and women for 2017
For men:
As they say, Aries is "still that sheep".And in this there is a share of of unquestionable truth! Next year, Aries will face a number of unpredictable situations, capable of putting "curls" in a dead end. Be careful, do not rest against horns in difficulties and try to overcome them! Excessive stubbornness is unlikely to help you achieve your desired goals. In the year of the Rooster, Aries should relax a bit and let go of the situation, as they say, "down the river".This will allow not only to relax, but to add up any business so that it will end with your benefit!
For women:
If the man is Aries "ram", then the woman "baroness" .And this is not just a play on words! In the new 2017, female sheep will be especially attractive and irresistible. Many of them will find "women's happiness", thanks to the perseverance and frenzy with which they will strive to achieve what they want. In addition, if you have Aries women, there are any acting abilities, the horoscope wants you from time to time to pretend to be stupid for the sake of all the same, good goals!
In verses:
Aries is a sign of "stubbornness" and arrogance,
Their every little thing enrages!
That in life was "sweet",
During the holiday, drink without a trace!
Aries need a lot of space,
So that there was not a cramped house,
At the robot, in the garage
And of course in the shower!
New Year's Eve meets Aries
With outstretched soul:
Let's be full in the "barn",
In the bins oats with grass!
Horoscope wishes Aries
To be calmer and more gentle,
So that the soul was calm,
Life was so much fun!
In the new year to Aries happiness
In the house will certainly come,
New broom of bad weather
Will sweep and carry away!
Predictions for Aries A humorous horoscope in verse and prose for Taurus men and women for 2017
For men:
Taurus in the new year, like stubborn Aries, should slightly "relax and slow down".It is excessive tension and a desire to help everyone, everywhere and always, destroying the restless "bull-calves" and "little-calves", not giving them the desired maximum of life. In the year of the Rooster, the Taurus will be particularly vulnerable to difficulties and problems arising both on the love and on the professional "front".In order for any outcome of the case to be positive and kind, do not hesitate to ask for help from relatives. At the moment when Taurus lives "show a red rag", you should not overclock and run to a bright color, but close your eyes tightly and just let things "go by themselves".And without you, Taurus, others will perfectly understand!
For women:
Women of the Taurus in the new year need to be especially carefully with words spoken and expressed emotions. The fact is that the year of the Cock will allow the ladies of this Zodiac to be, so to speak, excited and mentally unbalanced. To avoid problems in relationships and at work, you need to "keep in check" your bouts of jealousy, rage and a desire to help everyone!
In verses:
To the calves of peace and peace
Wishes a kind horoscope,
To make life easy and beautiful,
The problems "were not taken to the grave".
In the year of the Rooster Taurus more
Wishes horoscope of good,
So that the window stood "Porsche",
So that under the mattress of a bubble!
Towards Taurus for this new year
Will come love and inspiration,
Cock luck will bring,
Calm, pacification!
Taurus - it is strong and powerful,
And in the new year our horoscope
Wishes life only the best,
Let you be lucky!
In the horoscope of the New Year's
And the Taurus has a prediction:
Those who are single and free,
Will gain recognition in love!
Predictions for Taurus A humorous horoscope in verse and prose for Gemini men and women for 2017
For men:
Gemini is a special sign. In this sign, has brought together several of the best qualities of a person: curiosity, discretion, wisdom, a thirst for knowledge and development. Along with this, in the new 2017 they should protect themselves from talkativeness, bragging and tediousness. Horoscope advises Gemini to read, write, think, but not speak out loud, otherwise the sign risks losing some important people in life. If you can not talk about a new event, talk to the mirror or write a letter to Santa Claus!
For women:
In 2017 for the Gemini women there will not be any special emotional outbursts, changes and fateful events for .The Year of the Rooster promises to be "cheerful" and saturated with pleasant trifles: a new fur coat, a ringlet, a meeting with an old friend, who has also recovered greatly over the past few years. Just live, as they say, "for yourself" and please your loved ones. Avoid gossip, and even "bite your tongue" if you want to retell the news!
In verses:
Gemini, in the year of the Rooster,
Hold off from sin!
Be quieter and wiser,
That life was kinder!
Horoscope wishes you,
Good-natured Gemini,
A lot to eat, more to listen to,
Do not chat over trifles!
New Year for Gemini:
Lovely ladies and men,
Promises to be good.
Clap your hands loudly!
To be happy a lot,
Gemini in the year road
This will be without barriers,
No problems, adversity, loss!
Twins let this year
Cheer and frolic. Let the Rooster bring them
A lot of joy and happiness!
Predictions for twins Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Cancer of man and woman for 2017
For men:
For men, Cancers, the year of the Rooster promises small, but very pleasant changes in life. Firstly - it is prosperity, it "will flow into your hands" slowly, but very confidently. Secondly, you run the risk of meeting "your soul mate" in this world, if you have not already done so. More often "crawl out of the sink", do not be afraid to communicate with people, do not close from your loved ones and 2017 will be very interesting!
For women:
Women of Cancers in 2017 will finally have the chance to feel necessary, important, loved. The main thing is not to lose calmness, self-confidence and harmony between the soul and the body. Speaking about the body, it is worth noting that in the year of the Rooster Raki will experience an incredible emotional recovery and any ailment, as well as depression will not "hook" and will not spoil your mood.
In verse:
Cancers, here's your luck!
This year is for you a happy one!
You want a horoscope,
Be desired and beautiful!
In the Year of the Rooster it's time for all Cancers to know:
Wealth is not hiding in chests and not in money.
Wealth hides in the soul, in the family, in friends,
They will help at the right time and will not give a chasm!
Cancer lucky in 2017 is incredible!
They will find peace, riches and love.
They will meet luck on the road repeatedly!
In abundance there will be joy, food and wine!
Cancers can have fun,
Loudly singing, joking, dancing.
In the new year to them, happiness rushes,
To crawl all the crayfish!
Happy Holiday, Cancers!
New Year promises you everything:
A lot of happiness and occasions to cry
Only for joy and trivia!
Predictions for Cancer Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Leo men and women for 2017
For men:
One of its kind Lion-males inspire fear of and respect for all other signs of the zodiac. The same attitude to life they have: someone they let in close, others "sharpen claws."The new 2017 year for Lviv will be very successful and lucky. The Year of the Rooster will completely submit to Leo and bring him many pleasant emotions!
For women:
Women-Lionesses, like men, will smile in 2017 in everything: they will rise up the "career ladder", meet a decent man, gain health and will be incredibly attractive. Year of the Rooster will bring "fatal pussies" a lot of profit, both in terms of "booty", and a new fur coat, boots, beads and earrings!
In verse:
Rooster year will be easy,
Will be bright and happy!
Leo he will bring health,
Inspiration and strength!
Lions will be pleasantly surprised,
A year is good for them!
In it, they "get drunk of happiness",
To them "good luck will enter the house."
Rooster promises all the Lions and Lionesses
Good luck this year to get drunk,
"Catch the star", have luck,
And all the victories without exception!
Lions, as the lords of the world,
Year wishes to be happy!
To the house was full,
So that in the shower was calm!
Horoscope wishes Lionesses
To be real queens,
And Lions of great prosperity,
To make life simple and "smooth"!
Predictions for Lions The humorous horoscope in verse and prose for the Virgin of man and woman for 2017
For men:
As you know, Virgo men are real "daffodils". That's why in 2017, the horoscope predicts a lot of difficulties for them, primarily because they are not able to "understand and love their neighbor."The Year of the Rooster promises to be not easy and the day to achieve the desired results, the Virgin will have, as they say, "push the gas" and make maximum efforts.
For women:
Women of the Virgin in 2017 will feel like real queens! Of course, all the grace will not be on them just pouring down from the sky and in order to please yourself with excellent results in the professional or personal sphere, you need to work hard and believe in yourself. In the same way, Virgo should begin in 2017 to limit itself in everything: in sweets, cavaliers, spoken words. This will help to gain respect and recognition of others.
In verse:
Horoscope wishes Virgo
Big and small victories!
In the new year enter safely,
He will protect you from troubles!
To the Seductive Virgo Beauty
The New Year will bring only joy!
Let life become as you like,
It will turn into sweetness for you!
Wise and beautiful Virgo
New Year wishes boldly
To be successful in everything
And there were no problems!
Devom - the sign of the zodiac,
New Year wishes happiness!
To the benefit of the environment,
So that love does not disappear!
Smile, Virgo, wider,
You are happiest in the world!
You are more beautiful in this world than
And on our whole planet!
Predictions for Vir Joking horoscope in verse and prose for Libra men and women for 2017
For men:
In the new 2017, Gemini men should give a time not only to self-development, but also to their appearance. Therefore, do not hesitate to get a subscription to the gym, spa or sauna. To be beautiful is not a sin! In addition, try to always be closer to your family, do not hesitate to be boring and intrusive, just show your interest in what's going on.
For women:
In the year of the Rooster, the women of the Libra sign will "fly in the clouds". That's why they often will not have time always and everywhere. In order for your business to go well and end with the desired outcome, you should be reserved for perseverance and all the time "beat yourself on the cheeks" to return to reality. In the new year, be sure to devote a lot of time to your beauty and health, take care of your loved ones.
In verse:
Smile, all men,
If there is a Libra nearby.
These women are beautiful,
An embodiment of dreams!
New Year Libra will present
Many reasons for happiness.
He under the Christmas tree will leave
Gifts, kisses and hugs!
Weights of huge adventures
Will add a new year in life,
So that there are no chagrin,
He will bring you luck!
Stars have now decided:
In the new fairy-tale year
Libra as a gift will be strength,
Heat, love, family coziness!
Libra has big changes
Will be sure in the year of Rooster,
All of them will happen without a doubt,
Life will be happy and easy!
Predictions for Libra Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Scorpio men and women for 2017
For men:
Scorpio men will really have to try to in harmony their thoughts and emotions with the body. This "poisonous" zodiac sign will be especially vulnerable and excited in 2017.That's why you should refrain from scandals, quarrels and divorces. On the other hand, the year is very successful for "zakolachivaniya" money and therefore it is best to direct your energy to improve your financial condition.
For women:
Like men, women Scorpions in 2017 will be real "hysterics."Ladies should very skillfully hide their true emotions and feelings, so as not to spoil relations with all who surround them. The year promises many romantic and love meetings, which in turn does not interfere with the existing marriage of Scorpio.
In verse:
Scorpions are good:
A lot of money and soul!
Horoscope broadcasts the sign
Only with happiness cry!
In the Year of the Rooster to all Scorpions,
A lot of changes are threatening:
In robot, relationships and at home.
Try to avoid problems!
Scorpions urgently need,
Many bright changes.
Horoscope wishes friendship
Solve your problems!
To make life a success,
Scorpions, try.
Horoscope wishes: gently
You smile problems!
You at the door Rooster knocking,
Its now the time has come.
Now the good will happen
With Scorpio in the new year!
Predictions for Scorpions Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Sagittarius men and women for 2017
For men:
Men Sagittarians in the new year "risk" being lucky and happy, for that they have every chance. The main thing is not to lose luck on the way to happiness. In the professional and personal sphere, everything will be very foldable and fairly "even" - without losses and disappointments. Smile more to the world around you and everything will be fine!
For women:
Women Sagittarians in the new year must necessarily "catch luck by the tail," and then hide it in themselves and not let go. If the ladies make an effort in the year of the Rooster, they will certainly gain recognition, find true love and rise up the career ladder high.
In verses:
"Let the Sagittarius live well" -
Advises an astrological forecast.
Let them rest body and soul,
Let them not pour hot tears!
Sky desires for a man Sagittarius
To be a real protector of ladies.
Life with a glove does not hit the face,
Give way to dreams and deeds!
Let Sagittarius dreams come true,
Let desires come true!
Sagittarius astrologers desire beauty,
Good luck, joy, love of charm!
Sagittarius - pets of luck,
Let it be so and not otherwise!
And the new year will present in the winter
I am happy and happy with happiness!
The stars predicted the joy of
to all Sagittarians as a gift.
There will be a life for them as sweetness,
Cheer every day and bright!
Predictions for Sagittarius Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Capricorn man and woman for 2017
For men:
For men, Capricorns in the new year should finally understand what they want in their lives: love, family or a big career jump. Unfortunately, it will not be possible to get everything at once, and therefore all its forces should be channeled into one single channel. A year is successful for finding yourself, the muse and the cosmos. However, if you "fly too far, you risk losing your connection with reality, that is, to spoil your relations with others.
For women:
Women Capricorn will become a real muse for their men, admirers and fans. The year promises the ladies to be filled with beauty, harmony and purity. Each representative of this sign of the zodiac "risks" falling in love quite by accident and very firmly. Financially, Capricorns will be very vulnerable and wasteful.
In verse:
In the year of the Rooster all Capricorns
The stars want to be themselves,
On their vital roads
Walking with a happy fate!
Lucky all Capricorns,
To them the good comes to the house
With this glorious new year,
The troubles will be nothing!
Good luck and prosperity knocking,
At the houses of all Capricorns in the new year. Let the fairy tale happen,
Dreams will not be sweet dreams!
Astrologers wish you harmony,
Find in yourself both strength and love.
Year Capricorn promises to be calm,
And the feelings will excite the blood!
Capricorns are incredibly lucky,
Year will be pleasant and happy.
Men in their pockets will be full,
Well, women will be beautiful!
Predictions for Capricorns The humorous horoscope in verse and prose for Aquarius men and women for 2017
For men:
The New Year for Aquarius men will be very calm and measured. In practice, no event can break the peace of mind of men and prevent them from achieving their desired goals. In the personal life of Aquarius there is an abundance of romantic encounters, tender feelings and only pleasant changes.
For women:
The women of this zodiac sign are rather frivolous , but at the same time romantic and dreamy. The Year of the Rooster promises them an abundance of love adventures and only positive changes. But, along with this, one should not "drown in the depths of your dreams", so as not to lose touch with reality.
In verses:
Aquarians will feel,
Have fun, wait and believe,
What in their life is like in a fairy tale
Happiness will knock on the door!
For Aquarius, the new year is a favorite holiday,
He gives them the warmth of his native people.
Astrology promises you only joy,
Luck - it will come to you just at the door!
Astrological predictions
Wish Aquarians to be wiser,
With a smile in your heart to make decisions,
To make dreams come true soon!
Horoscope Aquarius Wishes
Many bright, amorous pleasures,
So that the love in the soul does not fade,
And the soul was light as snow!
Predictions for Aquarius Joke horoscope in verse and prose for Pisces male and female for 2017
For men:
Men Fish all year The rooster will "calmly swim down the river" and swim past problems, failures and disappointments. This year, a strong half of humanity will certainly meet "his fish" and will find family happiness. In the year of the Rooster, do not expect any strong "career ups", but this is far from bad.
For women:
The main thing for women Pisces in the year of the Rooster - do not look stupid and do not create a negative impression of yourself. Be active and cheerful, laugh at the face of failures and problems. In his personal life, the year promises positive changes, for example, a new lover or a marriage proposal!
In verse:
Let Pisces sail to their luck
In a happy new colorful year!
Let the difficult tasks are solved,
And life does not throw Pisces into a frying pan!
Pisces is very silent,
Pisces loves silence.
In the new year wishes Pisces
Horoscope "to catch the dream"!
To be fun Pisces and happy,
Astrologers promise them:
Rest, eat sweets,
You love stars foretell!
Predictions for Pisces