How to survive a middle-aged crisis

Once in the life of every woman, however, like men, a period of revaluation of values ​​comes, when you can look back and see your wrong decisions, misses, analyze the results of the efforts made, and draw disappointing conclusions about what has been achieved. Often after this, there is a depressive state - the so-called midlife crisis.

  • When
  • comes
  • symptoms
  • family How to overcome

Often self-critical and pragmatic people in modern society do not have enough strength and self-confidence to accept the mistakes made earlier, accept their own shortcomings, try to improve the situation and change lives for the better. As a result, a person has a feeling of depression and confusion, which is often replaced by despair.

When the

comes The crisis of middle age begins in the period from 30 to 45 years and lasts 2-3 years. For each person the time of onset and duration of this period is individual, but the most critical age for women is 30-35 years. In men, the crisis comes a little later, at about the age of 40-45.

The causes of the crisis in women are:

  • The woman's responsibility for the birth and upbringing of the child, as well as the age limits set by the society for this. To give birth to the first child is undesirable after 30-35 years, but the majority of the fairer sex, because of the desire to get a decent education and get a job well-paid, do not want to start a family up to 30 years.
  • Loss of life activity, when it is no longer so easy as before, not to sleep at night, and even under the condition of a busy schedule find the strength and time for meetings with friends.
  • Impossibility to realize their own desires and goals. Girls who live with their parents for a long time listen to their advice and can not realize their own desires and ideas, the most acute suffer the crisis of middle age. However, there are many women satisfied with their position in the family and society, beginning to worry about those aspects of life that passed them. Housewives can suddenly realize that they have spent most of their lives on borscht and diapers, without seeing or knowing "real life".Careerists, on the contrary, realize that the family - this is the real value, and money - only a way of existence, but the time to acquire a strong and loving family is already irretrievably lost. Each begins to lack what others have, and could also belong to them under a different set of circumstances.
  • Difficulties in interacting with men. A woman in 30 becomes increasingly difficult to find a life partner. At this age, when choosing a husband in the first place are personal qualities, and then external and sexual data. If men do not fit the above criteria, a woman feels a sense of doom and despair.
  • The fear of loneliness. It happens that a middle-aged crisis comes to a woman and when grown-up children are about to fly away from the parent's nest, and before the mature couple seriously question how to be further. Especially dangerous is the crisis, when the whole life of the family was subordinated to the interests of children, for parents who gave themselves completely to upbringing and providing offspring.

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Symptoms of

At the age of 30-35 years, the first wrinkles begin to erupt in the faces of women, the oval begins to swim, the late cup of tea is inevitably swollen in the morning, the blush fades, and the girl's gleam disappears.

With age, the female body begins to rebuild in hormonal and physical terms. Slowed down metabolism, resulting in the body begins to decrease the content of muscle and increase the percentage of fat mass, so by the age of 35-40 years, most of the ladies, unnoticed, add a couple of sizes, while adhering to the usual way of life and nutrition.

In addition, the middle age crisis in the fairer sex is manifested in nervousness and irritability. Depressive state is accompanied by laziness, apathy, lack of desire to perform the usual elementary things.

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The woman has unexplained mood swings, enthusiasm and optimism are suddenly replaced by helplessness and disappointment. I do not appreciate the family, the satisfaction of work is lost, I want to turn off the phone so that I do not hear the cheerful and cheerful voices of relatives and friends. Another frequent symptom of the crisis is the thoughts of suicide, which appear against the background of the suppressed consciousness of a person.

When a crisis occurs, some women leave their husbands in search of another partner, change their hairstyle, dress code, start looking for new entertainment, often abusing alcohol.

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When a woman is covered by a crisis, her relatives rarely and rightly can immediately assess the reasons for the changes in her character and behavior. Often husbands in a similar situation begin to believe that a demon has settled into their half, not understanding the true reasons for this behavior. In the family, irritability accumulates, the unspoken problems multiply, like a snowball. This often results in the destruction of the family or simply leaves the outer shell of it, inside of which two people who have become strangers to each other coexist from the habit.

If the period of the crisis of middle age in a woman fell on the same period for a man, then the family is even harder. Men in this situation often tend to seek solutions to problems on the side, where a sensitive and undemanding( and often even younger) woman will listen, condemn an ​​unreasonable wife and warm her under a tender wing.

To women's crisis did not turn into a lady in the collapse of family relations, you need to try to protect your relatives as much as possible from his influence. To do this, it is advisable not to endure in the family their sufferings, complexes and dissatisfaction in the form of skepticism and scandals.

We need to talk with our families, tell our husbands about our crisis, about what concerns, torments and how we would like to see family relations. You can not repel children, nor should you try to draw them closer to you - for grown up children you should try to become a friend and helper, and then, even leaving your father's house, they will return there often and with pleasure.

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Single women can not be locked in themselves, it's better to be among people, where you can meet your soul mate. In this case, various kinds of courses, classes and trainings, where many new and interesting people come, can help.

To make the impact of the crisis as fatal as possible, one should forbid thinking about oneself and one's life in the "NOT" key. Do not be sad that they did not do it, it's better to think about new achievements and victories. You should also think about how to expand your horizons and who will understand and appreciate the mature female person best.

Read also the advice of a psychologist how to get rid yourself of depression
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How to overcome

First of all it is necessary to remember thatthe attractiveness of a woman depends on how she feels. If she is sure that she is turning into a withered old woman who is incapable of interested in anyone, then it will be so. And, on the contrary, an interesting person with fervent laughter, glowing eyes and a lot of hobbies will always find admirers and even in retirement will be in demand and cheerful, as at a young age.

In order to avoid such unpleasant symptoms as weight gain during the age of crisis, women need to re-arrange their diet and exercise regimen to reduce the calorie intake of the first and increase the second.

It is useful to use the advice of psychologists, and not to seek proof of their former irresistibility in the eyes of others. It is better to devote time and effort to work on your appearance - fitness, diet, modern cosmetology procedures in the salons work wonders and without radical surgical measures. In addition, you can resort to the help of aesthetic medicine, which will help change your appearance and attitude towards it.

So that thoughts about your own unfulfilledness do not cause a crisis, and with it serious depression and scandals with domestic ones, it will be easier and better to sublimate these aspirations in a new occupation or hobby. For example, enroll in courses of martial arts, cooking, change the work or field of activity entirely, start a pet or even adopt an orphan!

After all, the main problem of internal throwing is that a woman does not feel herself to be in demand, pores herself in pejorative thoughts at her own expense. Therefore, a new hobby is exactly the way that will help to find application of free time and unrealized talents.

Despite the dramatic nature of the situation, the middle age crisis for both men and women always ends with self-determination and the formation of new life goals and goals. A person realizes that life is fleeting, and begins to appreciate every minute lived. The woman begins with understanding and careful attitude to the feelings and desires of her husband and children. She finds pleasant moments in family life, notices something good, which she did not pay attention to before.

  • Apr 23, 2018
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