Our life is short.
However, in such a short life, we manage to offend everyone who is not lazy.
Favorite person changes with his best friend, parents call a loser, and his own sister in general sent away and for a long time.
But we also do not remain in debt. Terribly and cruelly revenge former lover, abandon parents and curse relatives.
Yes, most of these actions are done in a temper or in a fit of emotion.
Cooling the heat, we usually want to make amends or forgive the person who hurt us.
But here pride, anger or instinct of self-preservation arises on our way.
Perhaps we would forgive the abuser, but we do not know how to do it, how to overcome your own self and stop wasting your time.
If you have similar problems, it's time to think about how learns how to forgive !
Why forgive?
Before starting to learn how to forgive , think about why you need it.
Without an answer to this particular question, you either do not learn to forgive, or you will constantly step on the same rake.
Surely you know that some kind of insult can be heavy on the heart, turning into an unbearable burden.
As a result, we stop eating, we start to sleep badly, and all thoughts revolve only around the words of heated words.
Therefore, to get rid of unnecessary cargo is sometimes easier to forgive than to save one's grievance.
After all, in fact, the abuser after a while may forget about you.
You will become more irritable and nervous.
How to learn to forgive?
Having dealt with all your cockroaches in your head, let's move on to simple tips that will help you to forgive your abusers more quickly.
Tip 1. Understand the cause of the
insult The next day after a quarrel or conflict, scroll in the head of the situation again.
With a probability of 90% that it will cause you only laughter.
After all, often under the influence of emotions, we perceive the situation a little differently than it really is.
And if the situation turns out to be really trivial, then throwing it out of your head will not be difficult.
Is it worth while to forgive treason?
Tip 2. Release aggression on the will of
No, it does not mean that you have to go and hit your abuser in the face.
Go to the gym better and throw out all your anger in training.
You will see how at the end of the lesson you will definitely feel better.
Tip 3. Find out your abuser
In this case, you should analyze for what reason a particular person could offend you.
Perhaps, for him the said is normal, but for you not.
If so, then you just need to talk to the person and find out all the misunderstandings.
Perhaps your offender has been inspired by some standards of behavior since childhood.
And then suddenly you decided to take offense at some kind of nonsense.
For example, a few years ago I met with one guy who, from childhood, was told that his mother was a king and a god.
And you need to consult on any issues only with your mom.
As a result, this young man often offended me without even noticing it.
Bring food from home, stating that I'm a bad hostess.
Requested that I every month to wash windows in the whole house, and floors 3 times a week with powder.
How to change yourself?
Otherwise, stated that I am a pig and a slob.
Well, I saw the education of this man in time, and then went her way, leaving behind all the grievances.
So you first get to know your abuser!
Tip 4. Tell me about your grievance
Never wait for the moment when the abuser suddenly realizes his guilt and will come to you with apologies.
If you are offended - do not be silent. Tell me about it directly.
After all, an offended person may not even suspect about the trauma you have suffered.
Tip 5. Look at yourself from the side of
In a quarrel, two are usually to blame. That is why analyze your behavior.
In a good half of quarrels and conflicts, you are yourself to blame.
I'll give you an example of one of my neighbors, who used to be beaten by her husband.
After the beating she always cried, complained, but never made conclusions.
But in fact, the whole problem was exactly in it.
She loved to humiliate her husband with other people.
As a result, the peasant tolerated, and when the patience dried up, gave the neighbor in the scoreboard.
If for you this example seems too rude, I will bring you another.
Everyone knows about the lack of logic in women.
So, I'll tell you frankly, in 50% of cases there is really no logic.
One of my friends likes to roll up scandals for her husband about anything.
My husband and friends gathered at a bar on Saturday, asked his wife. And she answered him in a sweet voice - go, of course, dear.
When the husband returns, she rolls up a scandal with the claim that her husband could have guessed that it was not necessary to go to friends, but to spend time with his family.
How to apologize to a girl: 5 ways to
And moreover, such scandals roll up every second woman.
And who is to blame? Of course the goat is her husband.
And who is asking for forgiveness? I think the answer is obvious.
So before you look for the mote in someone else's eye, pull out the log first from your own.
Tip 6. Do not try to revenge
Revenge is not an option.
Starting to think out for someone the plan of revenge, we are trapped in our own consciousness.
We turn into evil dwarfs, losing friends, respect and reputation.
Do you need this?
Instead of taking revenge on the offender, learn how to forgive for it.
And if he really is to blame, then life itself will punish him.
A couple of interesting thoughts on how to release insult and learn to forgive,
in the following video:
In conclusion, I want to advise you not to write down grievances and do not store them for years!
Over time, anger corrodes and a person turns into an old grumbling grandmother( or grandfather).
Similar old people in our life can be met quite a lot.
Do you really want to become the same in 20-30 years?
No?
Then immediately throw out all your grievances and forget about your abuser.
By the way, it's worth knowing if a person offends you not for the first time, it's easier to stop any communication with this person than to constantly find out who is right and who is to blame.