Funny jokes. Jokes from KVN, short, April, jokes, anecdotes, skits

Laughter is a pleasant emotion and the best pastime in any company. Knowledge of jokes and the ability to tell anecdotes can reveal you in a profitable light, teach you how to find contact with people and discharge the situation. Funny jokes, jokes and rhymes will certainly please your team, your family and loved ones and become your highlight.

The best jokes KVN, jokes, jokes, skits, humor

KVN is an exciting competition in which several teams compete among themselves with various works of humorous nature: jokes, anecdotes, skits, jokes and humor. This is a unique game, jokes from which become winged and for long remembered.

The best jokes from KVN:

An interesting case in the maternity hospital:
( near the doors there is a person figure and nervously smokes)
- Damn, well, when, when?... Well, how long can you wait?(exhales smoke)
- Ivanova, give birth!(voice from the corridor)
- Well, damn. .. finally!(quickly extinguishes his cigarette).I'm on my way!!!

An interesting fact: the victim of a killer maniac was unexpectedly lucky!
( a loud and terrifying organ plays in the hall, and the person in the role of the victim slowly backs away, putting forward his hands.) Suddenly the victim comes to something. ..)
- Opa! Chervonchik!

A lisp gypsy falls on his knee and makes an offer to his beloved:
- I long for this salt. .. Ross, are you budes my bus?
- Darling, why are you lisping?
- Moltsi, do not say slogan!(shouts gypsy and pulls out the ring)
- But, beloved, where did you get the gold ring from?
- Let it be denied by secret!(drops his head down)

A case near the hospital, under the windows are young fathers and shouting to their beloved wives:
- Marina, who?
- We have a boy, Igor!
- Angela, who?
- We have a girl, Maxim!
- Katia, how to include a washing machine?
- Plug the cord into the socket and press the red button!
- Thanks!(runs away)
- Oleg, stop! I gave birth!
- Well done!

jokes from KVN, funny jokes to raise the mood, the best jokes KVN

Short jokes, funny and funny jokes, jokes, short anecdotes

Funny and short jokes will always be useful in cases of communication with friends, colleagues and relatives.

Best short jokes:

• If you actively participate in sports, then you can extend your life about five years, but you have to spend eight years to do sports yourself!
• The boy was very furious, to which the teacher made a comment and asked if he knows the meaning of these words: - Of course I know!(answered the boy) It means that the father does not start the car!
• Message on the wardrobe in the theater: "Valuable things and bills do not leave in your pockets, the cloakroom attendant has a small salary!"
• Grandmother Slavik was "deadlocked" when her fat grandson
• came to her. I come to the house and immediately nice: already at the entranceI am greeted by Wi-Fi
• Only pigeons can force a black car white, and white black!
• Nowadays on TV you can hear good news only during advertising!
• A well-known comedian Garik, popularly known as "Bulldog", was bitten by a bulldog dog named "Garik"
• The rule of a man's razor: the first blade shaves "cleanly", the second shaves "even cleaner", and the third one is also "long"!

funny short jokes and anecdotes

April jokes, funny and funny jokes with gags

April funny jokes are always able to cheer up and adjust people to a positive mood in any situation.

April jokes - a special kind of humor, it is to any of the possible ways to put your friend in an uncomfortable or embarrassing situation.

Here are a few options for the April unbeaten jokes:

April joke "with eyes"

This joke assumes a joke, the meaning of which is "a kind of revitalization of objects" - products in the refrigerator. This is an interesting version of a good mood since the morning, when, by not knowing, a person opens the door and is horrified for a few seconds from the fact that all products "look" at him. Such eyes can be easily bought in the store for creativity or in the fittings department.

April Fools' joke for colleagues in your work

This joke involves wrapping each piece of the desktop in food foil. At first glance, it can shock the owner in the first minute, and the remaining thirty to take off the wrapper from each thing while the others will watch it and smile!

April joke for employees and colleagues

Not a difficult and interesting joke is that under the seat of an office chair you need to install a horn. The person who owns the armchair will be scared and shocked when not sitting down.

Good jokes and interesting jokes for all and everyone

Good jokes and tricks are able to cheer up even on the most sad and rainy day. Read good jokes and jokes with friends, tell them to your family and make every day filled with joy.

Good jokes and jokes on different topics:

• It is noticed that the higher the person occupied the position, the less his attendance at work
• To give yourself a few extreme minutes and mislead the customs, pour some green tea into foil from cigarettes
• Sitting office workerbeing without occupation for more than ten minutes can automatically plunge into the "sleep mode"
• In the morning nothing will be able to so much cheer up as a cup of strong freshly brewed coffee, which was drunk brandy
• Do not understand: Moved from parents bought an apartment, and immediately came to the bill for utility services. I paid for it, of course, but next month it came again, and then again. .. What? It was necessary not to pay the first one? Everyone realized that I was LOCH? ?
• If you decide to sit at night with a laptop on the Internet, do not turn on the charger beforehand. If you sat down - it's time to sleep!
• "Candlelight Dinner" is not only a romance, it is an effective treatment for hemorrhoids!
• Scientists concluded that the drop in male sperm "life" is more than a drop of human blood. Conclusion: How do vampires suck blood?

good jokes will be a wonderful pastime

Poems jokes on any subject, funny jokes-rhymes for each

Poems in comic form will be your highlight in the company or at any event where you can entertain and please the guests.

Funny jokes in verse form:

Do not call me married
I do not know how to cook, I'm a poet!
I'm a lazyboy and this is my status,
I do not like breakfast, dinner, lunch.
I do not go on high I stilettos,
And I can not be brought up.
I'm looking for inspiration in jokes,
I'm not looking for inspiration!

You left the house and me in a jiffy,
Where can I find you - I do not know.
On the pillow is your red wig
I'm hugging him from anguish.
On the night table your teeth are thrown
And in the glass the artificial eye is sour.
I look at my teeth, I remember only the lips of
That they do not kiss me at this morning hour!

The Bulldog tried to bite the familiar man,
He ran away from him and threw him a stone, just did not hit.
That stone went to the mother-in-law, that nearby passed
"Well anything, and so will go!" He thought and did not say!

Songs of jokes, funny short songs, ditties and chanting

Funny song-chastushki will be an interesting entertainment at the festive table and will please anyone with their original text, humor and sarcasm.

Funny drinking song-ditties:

My favorite - tractor driver,
I'm in the village doyarochka,
We're like bounties and tweaks
Sweet couple!

In the forest a Christmas tree was born
And there she grew up,
She served as a camouflage
of the Military Regiment.

If I were a strongman,
My life would have been
Like a fairy tale
And women from the night until the morning!

Is there a question - do I use
for sport?
Morning lunch, afternoon buffet,
Just no time!

funny jokes in song form

Jokes, funny jokes for everyone on any topic

Know a good funny joke should everyone, a person without a sense of humor seems dry and boring!

Funny anecdotes on a variety of topics:

• - Did you fall?
  - No, damn, my knee was combed! Well, I think, I'll scratch the asphalt!
• With a naked woman you can not argue at least because at any moment she can get dressed and leave!
• I solve the scandvord, and there the question is "no censorship of three letters".The word immediately came to the head, decided to check in the answer: it turns out, "mate"!
• -Hello, I would like to order a track from you. Is this possible?
  - Yes, of course! How many grams do you need?
  - Is this bowling?
• A woman says to a man:
  - Darling, when we become husband and wife we ​​can share problems equally!
  - Honey, but we have no problems!
  - I say, when we will become "husband and wife"!
• A Georgian boy entered a Russian-language school, the teacher teaches his language:
  - Givi, say "BREAD"
  - Hlap!
  - No, Givi, you need to say softer
  - Hlap!
  - No, Givi is still softer!
  - Bun!

funny jokes on any topic for each

Riddles jokes, funny riddles with guesses, jokes for all occasions

Jokes-puzzles can become an interesting entertainment for any company. Such jokes can amuse friends and relatives, colleagues and loved ones. Jokes-riddles will be a wonderful accompaniment of any holiday.

Best joke-puzzles for gay companies:

• What does one half of a mandarin look like?
  ( answer: for the second half of the mandarin)
• Imagine the situation: the guests have unexpectedly come to you. In the fridge is: a pack of juice, a bottle of beer and mineral water. What do you first open?
  ( answer: refrigerator!)
• What gift did the wife bring to her husband from the beach resort?
  ( answer: horns)
• What can be common between a student and a lizard?
  ( answer: both have "tails")
• When a person is in his apartment and he does not have a head?
  ( answer: when puts it in the window)
• The grain that managed to visit both in the fire and in the water and in the copper pipes, what is it?
  ( answer: moonshine)
• What can not I put in even the biggest pot?
  ( answer: its cover)
• What is not lit, but is constantly asking for blanking?
  ( answer: money debt)
• There is a tape that can not be woven into the braid. What is this tape?
  ( answer: machine gun)
• What kind of place is that when you are sitting on the car, behind you is the plane, and the horse ahead?
  ( answer: children's merry-go-round)
• What kind of woman is this, which at first all about you will be consumed, and then a strict voice will require money?
  ( answer: conductor-controller)

funny jokes-riddles for any occasion of life

Questions of joke with funny answers, jokes-jokes for gay company

Funny questions with the same humorous answers can become an interesting entertainment for anyone. They will decorate the celebration, help to establish contact between unfamiliar people and just to cheer up.

The funniest joke questions:

• What kind of beast is such a bird, does it fly and swear?
  ( answer: electrician)
• What can be in an empty pocket?
  ( answer: hole)
• What is twice a man's life for free, and the third has to be paid?
  ( answer: for teeth)
• What do thousands of people do at night? What are they doing?
  ( answer: sit on the Internet)
• The most terrible word for men of three letters?
  ( answer: More!)
• What, unfortunately, can not be eaten at lunch?
  ( answer: breakfast)
• What exactly is not in any women's bag?
  ( answer: order)
• What kind of monster is that who has six legs, two heads and one tail?
  ( answer: rider)
• What kind of strange thing between the legs dangles? This strange thing on the "X" begins!
  ( answer: tail)
• What is the most popular paper format that everyone uses absolutely?
  ( answer: roll of toilet paper at fifty-four meters)
• Female milk has one major value. Which one?
  ( answer: its packaging)
• Why is the largest monkey a gorilla, such a large nostril?
  ( answer: because she has very big fingers)

questions with jokes and funny answers to them for each case

Answers to jokes and funny questions, answers-jokes for jokes

Answers to joke questions hide a special sarcasm. As a rule, it's impossible to give the right answer to such a riddle right away, and therefore they have such a feature.

Answers to joke-puzzles, funny answers:

• If a drunken soldier walked across the square past a tall tower, he noticed a clock and a shot in them, where did he get to?
  ( answer: to the police for drunkenness and shooting in a public place)
• What can constantly increase and never decrease in your life?
  ( answer: human age)
• They say that this is the most important and most necessary for dinner, what is it?
  ( answer: mouth)
• All the crows sit on this tree during the pouring rain, what kind of tree is this?
  ( answer: wet tree)
• Who can be born twice and die only once?
  ( answer: the bird hatch from the egg)
• What kind of thing is this if you drop it, then you can not lift it by the tail?
  ( answer: ball of threads)
• Is it possible to bring water in a bucket with a hole?
  ( answer: it is possible if the water is frozen in ice)
• The conjurer claims that he can put the test tube in the center of the room and slowly creep into it, is this possible?
  ( answer: maybe anyone can slowly creep into the room)

funny answers to joke-jokes, funny answers with sarcasm

Funny jokes, funny stories and funny skits, humorous jokes

A sense of humor has always been valued and appreciated in people. If you own a set of jokes and funny stories, you will be able to locate your acquaintances and even strangers. Laughter is one of the most pleasant emotions on earth, so it's worth giving joy to others!

The most funny jokes and jokes:

• Everyone who wants to imagine how the female brain works is enough to open 150 different tabs on the computer in a row and not close them!
• Conversation of two familiar athletes:
  - You do not know how to get to me faster mass?
  - Well, take the dumbbells.
  - No, you do not understand, I need to quickly gain weight!
  - Well, eat them!
• Imagine a jog in the early morning on the asphalt covered with morning dew and filled with fresh light air. What could be more beautiful than her absence?
• A young wife has returned from a foreign resort. The husband has become bored, meets her, feeds and then notices that his wife's back is bruised and bruised. Says her:
  - Honey, you need to see a doctor urgently!
  The next day the wife says:
  - The doctor said that this is on "nervous soil".
  The husband was indignant, ran to the doctor with questions, and he answers:
  - Your wife is deaf, and you also pointed to the horn! I told her this from "not equal ground"!

jokes and funny jokes for lifting the mood

Joke favorite, how to make your loved one laugh, jokes about men

Every woman must have in her arsenal some interesting jokes or anecdotes dedicated to men. So she can show that she is not stupid and has a good sense of humor.

Funny jokes and anecdotes about men:

• A girl asks a man on the beach:
  - Man, will you allow me to meet you for one night, well, for a couple of nights?
  - What are you, girl, I'm a real gentleman - for the whole vacation!
• Two friends are talking:
  - And did you have a lot of fun yesterday?
  - Yes, while the corkscrew is not broken!
• Two friends discuss the wife of one of them:
  - Your wife is so beautifully dressed, where she takes such dresses?
  - You just will not believe it! Already twice we receive an erroneous parcel with the suit ordered from the internet by
• - Dad, and would you like a cool beer?
  - Of course! Do you still ask?
  - No, I'm just kidding!
• The husband comes from work, his wife asks:
  - Darling, how is your new workplace?
  - It's pretty decent.
  - Do you have a secretary?
  - Yes.
  - Is she beautiful?
  - Normal!
  - And how does she dress?
  - Quickly!

jokes favorite, jokes about men

Jokes favorite, jokes about women and girls, funny jokes

Every man should have a set of funny and funny jokes about women to tell them to friends, a sign and co-workers. Some of them will cheer your beloved girls!

Funny anecdotes and jokes about women:

• Two friends are talking, one is complaining about life:
  - Imagine, my apartment was given, but so small, so uncomfortable. .. I had to quit!
  - Apartment? ?
  - No, husband! !
• A woman steps out onto the balcony and notices the man's smoking figure beneath him, screams:
  - Man, I'm very scared of you!
  - Why are you afraid of me then?
  - You take me and rape!
  - How can I get to you then?
  - And I'm coming down!
• The husband returns from a business trip, slowly turns the key in the doorway. The wife hears it, grabs the lover's things and tells him:
  - Come on, jump off the balcony!
  - Are you that? Lost her mind?!Here is the thirteenth floor!
  - No time for superstitions to believe! ONCE!
• Two friends are talking on the street:
  - Verochka, I heard you married Sergei!
  - Yes, dear, we got married!
  - And how do you marry? Was it better?
  - No, dear, it did not get better. .. But it became more frequent!
• A woman comes to work, and she has an eye under her eye. Everyone starts to ask:
  - What do you have? Who is this you?
  - Husband!
  - Wow! But we thought he was on a business trip!
  - And I thought so too!
• Wife resorts to her husband and yells:
  - Darling, I just got raped! !What shall I do, dear?
  - Eat a lemon!
  - Well, what for?
  - Yes, so that your face is not so pleased!

jokes favorite, funny jokes and anecdotes about women

Congratulations with a joke, how to congratulate your relatives with an interesting congratulation?

Congratulate with a joke is an original and original way to bring a good mood to everyone around you at the celebration. Congratulations-jokes are always appreciated, they always bring together and make the holiday more fun.

Funny congratulations on any holiday:

Let your dreams come true,
All the goals in life are achieved.
Wealth let it multiply,
Love and feelings develop.
Problems, tears and tribulations
Forget the road to you,
Sadness will not set foot on the threshold.
I give you my "congratulations"!

I wish you well,
To catch the beaver by the tail.
I'm all told that the beaver
is not in the furs of good.
I wish you a strong house,
. To be more often we visited it.
To comfort and warmth in it,
Remoteness, laughter and beauty!

I want the abundant,
Wife beautiful, faithful,
Auto company Ferrari,
Suit from the brand "Armani"
Let life bring positive,
Let the dacha stand in the Maldives.
To avoid colds,
So that the caviar was full of stomach!

I want to wish you a holiday on your
To fall into the salad with your whole head,
Then to walk and drink with your friends,
To then chudin on drunk.

I wish to lie down in my bed
And there to find beauty.
I wish many victories to
And a thousand happy years!

funny and comic greetings in verse for any holiday

Scenes of jokes, which can dilute the holiday or cheer friends

Funny scenes can be used in a variety of ways: for entertainment guests, at the wedding, for competitions KVN and private parties. Funny skits are always a pleasure not only from a joke, but also from acting, facial expressions and gestures of characters.

Funny skits for any occasion:

• Conversation between two artists of the theater:
  - Larissa, I heard you hit the stage through the director's bed?
  - I need a homeowner!
  - Larissa, can you mean "proof"?
  - I clearly decided for myself and made my choice!
• Conversation in the kindergarten:
  - What about this boy?
  - Did he faint?
  - But from what? Why?
  - From the voltage!
  - What happened?
  - The teacher spent too long with him in a "goat horny!"
• Conversation in a dark alley:
  - Are you afraid of me?
  - No!
  - Is that why?
  - I'm an employee of Oriflame!
  - And what does that mean?
  - I can call my "three friends", and they are their "three friends" and each of them has "three friends"!
• Conversation between son and mother:
  - Son, you have a birthday soon, what do you want to receive as a gift?
  - Tampon!(confidently shouted the boy, my mother was taken aback)
  - But, son, why tampon? Do you know what this thing is?
  - Of course! They said on television that you can go to the beach every day with a tampon, bathe in the sea, dance, run and have fun!
• Conversation of two friends:
  - Imagine, I broke up with my girlfriend!
  - And what is it? What happened?
  - A stupid situation came out. .. We went together in the shower, she told me there and they say, they say, let's deal with bad things. ..
  - And what did you do?
  - Sprayed her with shampoo in her eyes. ..

funny skits and funny humorous stories

Jokes of Russian radio, funny statements on various topics

Jokes of Russian radio is a special kind of humor that causes a smile from the first words and is remembered for a long time. These jokes are very laconic, short and sarcastic, they often have "black humor" and are always popular.

Funny jokes of Russian radio:

• The saleswoman in the store possessed in such a rude voice that none of the store left without the
• package. The children who sit in the classroom by the window and the closest in the battery ripen before their classmates
• The supermarket manager and the "terms "the date of death was interrupted twice
• Vasily was incredibly afraid of the operation. .. by this he frightened off his patient. ..
• At the sanitary ware of Fedor the hangover was so great that within an hour no one could drag him from the pipe
• Sergey Zhukov's onchocet jumps two things: the singer and the pressure
• mom accidentally washed her son's scarf along with other clothes and a match of "Spartacus" boy was sick for some "pink crap"
• That kefir is too late SP Slaviku himself said kefir
• Statisticsclaims that more than 80% of people deliberately lie when they thank their hairdresser

jokes of Russian radio, funny humorous jokes

Video: " KVN - contest BIATLON - the best jokes in the history of the game kvn"