On the one hand, the first date is always a holiday, to which you carefully prepare and which you look forward to.
But on the other hand - it's a huge stress that makes you shake with fear: what to say on the first date with an unfamiliar person, what to wear, so that he / she will like how to behave in order not to become a disappointment, etc.
The most difficult, of course, with conversations.
It's good if the girl / guy with whom you go on a date is talkative.
And what if the two are not too chatty?
Silent?
No way!
You can always find a topic interesting to both.
Why is it important to know what to talk about on a first date?
The first date is like a job interview.
If you pass it successfully, then take the position you dreamed about, improve your financial situation and do other things.
That's with the first date as well: if it will be successful for both, then it is likely that your sympathy will grow into greater love, which will result in the creation of a strong family.
But to get your happy ending "they lived happily ever after," you do not have to fail the first date, you need to know what to talk about on it, and how to behave.
Try not to fail the first date in preparation for it:
- find out where the guy is going to invite you to dress appropriately( guys also need to remember this rule: not only tell the girl about their intentions, but also take care of the wardrobe itself);
- do not overdo it with makeup, perfume, hairspray, accessories and other;
- think about what you would like to tell about yourself on the first date, and what information should be kept.
If you follow these simple rules, then there is a chance that the first date will be successful.
On the first date, you need to talk about what's interesting to your interlocutor
. Man, being a selfish creature, likes to talk only about what he is interested in.
Of course, a loving wife is ready to suffer half an hour and, pretending to be incredibly interested, to listen to how her husband-mechanic did find the cause of the engine failure, but they would hardly be able to become a happy family, let him into these discussions on the first date.
But how do you know what's interesting to your interlocutor?
The first rendezvous will be much easier if you:
- Already familiar with the girl / guy with whom the / th gathered for the first date, then you will have enough common topics for conversation.
- Try to collect as much information about the person you meet, for example, by reading his social network page or by asking your mutual friends.
So you can find out that the object of your sympathy, for example, likes movies with Bruce Willis, a fan of Bob Dylan, or in his spare time does not let go of the fishing rod.
If in any way it does not work out what exactly the person invited by you on the first date is interested in, for example, you met him in a cafe and immediately invited to a rendezvous, then do not reinvent the wheel: just ask direct questions:
"What do you liketo do in your free time? "," What music do you listen to? "," What films do you watch? "," What books do you read? ".
So you will not only get topics for conversation, but you will also be able to find out what you have in common.
First date with a man: what can and can not be?
I remember, one day my classmate Masha was terribly nervous, going on the first date.
She liked the guy at first sight, but they were practically not familiar and she did not know what to talk about.
Somehow at first the first date was not asked: the young man was shy, answered one-syllable questions and did not offer topics for conversation.
And then a friend asked a question about his hobbies.
The boy's eyes lit up and he began to tell her about his passion for fishing.
Masha kept the warmest memories of the dad fisherman, who took a little daughter with him, and always dreamed that her husband would look like a dad.
In short, after 8 months they got married and now go fishing together with a three-year-old baby.
On the first date, you need to talk about yourself
In general, the first date can be considered successful if you had a dialogue, rather than a monologue shaded by the silence of the lambs.
You can not just ask questions and listen.
The first visual sympathy should be supported by the belief that you are an interesting person, that you have much in common with your potential partner.
How to interest a guy?
On the first date you can speak in general terms, without going into details, about:
- to your family;
- place of work / study;
- hobby;
- favorite books, music, films;
- some plans for the future.
These should be detailed answers, not monosyllabic ones, but do not start out in spatial stories, beginning to describe in detail all your biography, remember all teachers, kindergarten friends, knees and gifts from all invited guests for birthdays.
So you just wear out the interlocutor and scare him away with your boredom.
Remember the sense of proportion!
7 options, what else can you talk on the first date
The first date should not be too prolonged.
It's only in melodramas that young people, seeing themselves for the first time, chat all night long and can not part.
In life everything is somewhat different: it is difficult for practically unknown people to find so many common topics for conversation, and the stress that almost always causes the first date will lead to a feeling of fatigue - you want to relax and rethink alone as your rendezvous passed.
If you are not ready to leave and go home yet, and the general topics for the conversation have already ended, then you can talk about:
- Travel: what countries and cities have you visited and what did you like / dislike, and what only you dream to visit.
- Favorite places in your hometown.
- The most happy memories from childhood.
- Best friend / girlfriend.
- Favorite dish, flowers, car brand, etc.
- The cherished dream( if the interlocutor is not ready to talk about it, do not insist).
- Why he / she chose this profession and what he dreamed of becoming as a child.
As you can see, there are plenty of common topics for conversation even with an unfamiliar person.
Do not panic if an awkward pause occurs.
Smile, joke, such as "Who should carry a bribe, so that on the first date these pauses never appeared"( by the way, a couple of relevant jokes is a great way to impress the interlocutor) and start a new topic.
The Soviets, what to talk with guys on the first date,
shares a young video blogger Zek Sheremetev:
What should not you say on the first date?
It is clear that when going on a first date, most people are nervous, especially if they are scheduled to meet someone who really likes.
It's the excitement that makes us act unnaturally, clamp and keep silent or chat with different nonsense, which repels the interlocutor.
Remember, even if you do not know what to say more on the first date, you still do not need to chat about:
-
to your former partners.
Even if you were asked the question "Why did you break up with the previous guy / girl?" You do not need to start a barrel organ about "this bastard" who has dealt you a deep heart wound.
Limit neutral "Did not work out", "We were different people", "Everything was fine, but then the relationship itself became obsolete".
- Something intimate and intimate: chronic diseases, complexes, childish grievances, the shameful moments of your biography, chirie, which appeared on the pope so inopportunely, painful menstruation, etc.
- Sex - on the first date is too early to raise this topic.
Actually, it's not so important, what to talk about on the first meeting, if both of you are comfortable and interesting.
But, if you see that your interlocutor is bored, then look for another topic for conversation, otherwise the first date may be the last.