Where does the child's inferiority complex come from? The kid mirrors our complexes, how to recognize and increase the self-esteem in the child?

The nature of low self-esteem in children, the future problems of adaptation in their society. Methods of correction and behavior change of parents.

A kid like a sponge absorbs behavior and language that hears from day to day. His subconscious is a fertile soil on which the seeds of the words of the parents germinate.

Although the latter often forget about this or do not think at all. And in vain - a self-estimation to the child to return to an adequate level is then difficult. And if this is not done, his life can become full of trials, dissatisfaction and claims to others.

Why is the child's self-esteem too low? What to do?

Have you heard how moms or grandmothers communicate with kids in playgrounds, in stores or in polyclinics? Most often they scold, hang labels, discuss with other adults, devalue little success, compare their children with other children and their behavior.

And this is the brightest and most memorable experience for the subconscious of crumbs. So he grows with the programs "I'm bad," "I have curves on my hands," "I'm not worthy of love and recognition," "I need to pretend to please close people," etc.

The solution is to start adult education with ourselves, learn to hear your voice of reason, strengthen awareness in all actions and words. The recipe sounds simple, but in practice it needs to be sweated for its implementation.

Remember that your child is the most beloved and unique. He comes into this world for some time by the grace of the Most High. That is, we are given it as a visit.

And how do you behave with other people's children who came to you for a little while? Precisely try to please, are attentive to their words and behavior, are afraid to offend or utter a biting word.

Symptoms of an inferiority complex in men

Men are inherently active. Their life goes on outside, on the battlefields and mining mammoths for the family. And the man expects dedication, assertiveness, strength and authority.
In the presence of an inferiority complex, its behavior is fundamentally different:

• it looks into the bottle
• always expects a favorable moment for the actions
• is hurt and offended
• looks around at the opinion of the surrounding strangers
• is looking for excuses for its failures outside of itself
• takes the weak
• position is excessively aggressive
• surroundsthemselves with status items and boasts them, for example, a sports car, an apartment in the city center with expensive repairs
• does not know how or is afraid to build a strong relationship withwomen

And "legs grow" from childhood and interfere with the full life and realization of men.

Whether her mother was too cautious and cackling over him, whether the Pope broadcast similar behavior, whether the family had an unspoken taboo on manifestations of love. The list of reasons is long, and the result is disappointing.

Women's Inferiority Complex

Women are soft and pliable by nature. Their field of activity is the family. But the past century in the post-Soviet space has succeeded in educating girls according to the male scenario.

There were plenty of reasons - wars, famine, the construction of a "bright future", when men lacked and actively promoted the idea of ​​gender equality.

How does the inferiority complex in women manifest itself?

• direction of action in the outside, avoiding the fulfillment of their duties
• feminism
• focus on making money, striving for the lifestyle of businesswoman
• distrust of men, problems in communicating with them
• deafness to the opinion of other people
• desire to deserve love and disposition
• complex honors
• explanationits behavior by external causes
• aggressiveness
• frequent depression
• demand attention of others to gain sympathy for their person

However, a woman is easier thanman, to discover in himself the negative programs laid down in childhood and shaking self-confidence. And with a strong desire to rewrite them to successful and creative, a woman will cope with a circle of like-minded people in a short time.

The causes of the inferiority complex of

They are numerous and occur at different stages of the child's growing up.

• Consider some:
  • words of close people, especially with negative color
  • lack of faith in the child, but the strength and ability of
  • life without support and desire to help the baby in difficult situations for him
  • parental "deafness" to the real needs of the child
  • discussion and ridicule itbehavior with outsiders
  • transfer by parents of their unlucky scenarios
  • manipulation in communication
  • education with a predominance of market relations: you tell me this, and I give you money
  • lack of access to thosea parent for a child in critical moments
  • laying undue reliance parents on children's fragile shoulders

  So while our society and every parent individually, "sick", to raise children with healthy self-esteem becomes more difficult.

  Low self-esteem in a child: children copy the behavior of parents

  Nature wisely ordered, rewarding children with an invisible thread of attachment to their adult. Look, the ducklings are running after the duck and repeating its actions, the fry are swimming for their mother fish, the chicks are flying for the parents-birds. The same thing happens with people.

  Children in the brain have a special department responsible for their attachment to their parents. With his help, the crumb evaluates the reaction of an adult to his behavior, checks the boundaries of what is allowed.

  Even when we, adults, forget about this natural ability of our children, it regularly works.

  Imagine, mom, dad or both are exhausted at work, returned home, and there is a child with their needs for participation, games, love and support. What can adults give to a crumb if their life energy is at zero? Only lay a solid foundation for future problems with self-esteem.

  How to increase self-esteem and confidence for a child

  Depending on the age of the child, in which a problem with self-esteem and self-confidence is detected, different behavioral tactics and methods are applied:

  • praise for the successes and achievements of
  • minimizing, and better eradicating the habit of crying to solve any problems
  • stop discussing the behavior of the child, compare it with others, label
  • to be eco-friendly - without physical and emotional violence
  • consult and sometimes do as it sayschild
  • ask forgiveness from the baby
  • to enrich your speech with kind words expressing your emotions and emphasizing the importance and importance of the child in your life
  • regularly talk and provTo spend time together not on the TV and computer screens, but on the nature
  • never deceive the child, explain anything so that he understands
  • arrange children's holidays with the invitation of the kids home
  • give the right to act independently to the child, trust him
  • to be available for communicationat any time
  • develop the talents and abilities of the child
  • interested in doing sports
  • to carefully study the psychological characteristics of the child's personality - the choleric to ensure communication with other children, melanchosCGI to give the right to communicate with themselves
  • take the child as he is, without imposing undue expectations
  • give the right to commit errors
  • not take God's position with a view to control everything
  • to go to a psychologist parent, child, or both at the same time. A fresh view of a specialist will often see the roots of the problem much more quickly than the mother's blinded eye from everyday life.

  The most effective way to increase low self-esteem in a child is the love of the parent. Not selfish and waiting for bonuses in the future, but an unselfish divine forgiving love.

  How to increase self-esteem for a child 5 - 6 years?

  More often children in this age on the contrary have an overestimated self-esteem. As their parents indulge, in every possible way please and forgive much.

  And yet, if you have a low estimate of yourself in a child of 5-6 years, parents can:

  • praise, support, talk with the child
  • use warm and affectionate words
  • patiently explain something to the child
  • develop his natural talents, instill love for sports,music, dances
  • to be available for communication, not to brush aside the child
  • to correctly build a hierarchy of values ​​in the head so that, for example, the work does not stand higher than the child

  How to increase the self-esteem of a child 7-8 years old?

  At this time the kid goes to school, faces an increased amount of communication, children, adults, expectations and demands. This provokes stress and possible deviations in self-esteem.

  For its correction, the methods described above for children aged 5-6 years are suitable, as well as the following:

  • joint homework
  • providing the opportunity not to do what causes discomfort in the child, for example, in one approach, solve 20
  • tasks together select onnature, hiking with tents
  • allow to invite friends home
  • to teach on the basis of their own examples, how to overcome difficult situations, for example, ridicule of peers

  How to increase self-esteem for a child 9 - 10 years?

  A child of this age understands the reaction of adults to their behavior or actions, knows how to predict it. Therefore, it is better to focus on such methods of correcting his self-esteem:

  • establishing or strengthening friendship between parents and child
  • granting the right to express their opinion without fear of punishment or ridicule
  • strengthening the sense of humor in a child
  • if there is interest in sports develop it further
  • taking into account the views of the childin solving everyday situations
  • development of taste and style in clothes
  • other methods listed above, which in your opinion are acceptable

  How to increase self-esteemchild 11 to 12 years old?

  Stepping over the 10-year boundary, the child enters the time between childhood and adolescence. Teenage storms start to rage in his body, knocking out of the usual style of communication.

  Yes, and to communicate with the child all the more interesting. But only adults can really support, inspire faith in their strength, recognize merits and not be punished for failing. Children are able to cripple self-esteem for themselves like forever.

  Therefore, it is important for parents not to miss a moment and start correcting their own child's self-esteem in time.

  Due to the presence of emotions that have not been lived and the life lessons of this age that have not been passed by parents themselves, communication with children is exacerbated. Or you feel yourself pushed into a corner, deeply unhappy, do not see the value of your life, you wait for something better and devalue what is already there. What will you give as a parent to a child, how will you help eradicate feelings of impairment and self-pity for the child?

  Often the most effective and effective method is to turn to a psychologist and take a course of psycho-correction to all family members or only to parents.

  How to increase self-esteem in children: advice and feedback

  

  Some tips for improving self-esteem in children:

  • love, believe, support, calm and talk with them
  • build friendly relations, keep abreast of their lives and experiences
  • help to adapt in society on examplesfrom their life
  • develop at them a sense of humor, physical, intellectual, creative abilities
  • plan leisure so that all were interested
  • forget about shouting as a way of communication
  • respect and acceptImagine the child as he is, without trying to reshape to his expectations
  • ask for forgiveness if he is wronged
  • show an example of a way of life that the child would like to see in the future

  And most importantly - answer yourself honestly, do you have any problemswith self-esteem. Maybe you should start with yourself, work out all the injuries and limiting beliefs, and then with new strengths to help the child?

  Reviews

  Мария, домохозяйка
  We have two beautiful children - a boy and a girl. When my son turned a year, I had to go to work and help my husband with a loan for an apartment. In this race for money, we missed the point when the son began to show symptoms of low self-esteem. They became especially bright before the school. On the family council, we decided that I had better quit my job and help my son improve his self-esteem. I talked more with him, practiced an active hearing, enough, supported his initiative. And so we successfully coped with the task. After the birth of the daughter of such a mistake as a premature entry to work, I no longer committed.

  Victoria, sales manager
  The first child brought up one. Worked a lot, but he hired a nanny and tried to provide everything necessary. Often was on business trips. And in adolescence, the child was faced with problems in assessing himself and his place in society with him.
  The psychologist, whom the best friend recommended to me, was helped. He very carefully and scrupulously conducted sessions, identified the reasons and suggested measures to equalize the self-esteem. I thank this man! All methods proved to be effective and now my child is a successful sportsman, student and soul of the company among his friends.

  So, we examined the causes of problems with self-esteem in children, its manifestation in men and women and ways to correct self-esteem.

  Video: how to enhance a child's self-esteem